How forgiveness begins ...

A prayer from Leaving Ruin:

Dear God,

Somewhere, a man hits a woman, and a woman dies, and the man’s life is severed, and a child is dropped from a killing height, and papers are signed, death certificates and warrants, and sin rolls through the earth like a wave of hell, and that anyone smiles is a miracle of humility and grace that only you can author.

Lord, how forgiveness begins is absurd, and hidden, and a mystery that I run toward, and from, and you are that mystery, and I stand dumb, mute, astonished, like a brick cut in half, chiseled into a beginning shape by the rough hand of time, and discipline, and love.

Oh, Lord, leave me, for if I see your face, or its shadow, or even if I sit with your word in my lap, I die, for I am sin, I am wrong, I am pride, I am lust, I am the seven deadly sins, and they are tattoos on my soul, full of spikes and piercings and skull’s bones, and how can you stand the hate hidden within? Is love this deep? Is blood, even the Christ’s, enough to clean, enough to slake even my deadly thirst, and praise is due the one who replies to this accusation, and says, yes, it is enough, my blood is enough, and my love is that deep, and there is nothing that can separate me from you, for you are mine, and are mine forever.

An unworthy servant, I bow.

Thanking Jesus, and in his name,

Amen

It is both frightening and comforting to look at ourselves in the mirror in light of the Cross. The older I get, the more acutely I experience the pain of my sin. When life was simpler and thinking was black-and-white for me, I thought my sin was minor and not hurtful. Over time, my thought-sins were exposed to be quite hurtful to myself and others. I wonder, at times, if the blood of Christ is enough. I fear, at times, that it is not. I hope, at all times, that it is. Logically and Theologically, I knew Jesus is enough.

Oh, but on the sad days. On the days that I don’t know if I have the trust and humility required to continue my contact with this Source of Life. Those days are the hard ones, when depression burns and the desire to run away overwhelms.

Yet, Christ is enough and His blood covers and heals and makes whole. He is to be praised and worshipped. He is enough, even when I am not enough. He hangs on to me even when I am not certain I have the courage to hang on to Him.

Romans 8:33-39
Who can accuse the people God has chosen? No one! God is the one that makes them right. Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died, but that is not all. He was also raised from death. And now he is at God’s right side, speaking to him for us. Can anything separate us from Christ’s love? Can trouble or problems or persecutions separate us from his love? If we have no food or clothes or face danger or even death will that separate us from his love? As the scriptures say “for you were in danger of death all the time. People think we are worth no more than sheep to be killed.” (Ps 44:22)

But, in all these troubles, we have complete victory through God, who has shown his love for us. Yes, I am sure that nothing can separate us from God’s love-not death, life, angels, or ruling spirits. I am sure that nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us or nothing below us - nothing in the whole created world - will ever be able to separate us from the love God has shown us in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Grace and peace,

Shiann

I'm sorry ...

God, be merciful to me because you are loving. Because you are always ready to be merciful, wipe out all my wrongs. Wash away all my guilt and make me clean again. I know about my wrongs, and I can't forget my sin. You are the only one I have sinned against; I have done what you say is wrong. You are right when you speak and fair when you judge. I was brought into this world in sin. In sin my mother gave birth to me.You want me to be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom.

Take away my sin, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you crushed be happy again. Turn your face from my sins and wipe out all my guilt. Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again. Do not send me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Give me back the joy of your salvation. Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach your ways to those who do wrong, and sinners will turn back to you. God, save me from the guilt of murder, God of my salvation, and I will sing about your goodness. Lord, let me speak so I may praise you. You are not pleased by sacrifices, or I would give them. You don't want burnt offerings. The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit. God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin.

Psalm 51:1-17
New Century Version

Jason

Confession and renewal

Today’s thoughts from Greg:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.
- 1 John 1:8-9

Confession of our guilt makes space for God to operate in our lives. God will act faithfully according to His covenant love, which He sealed with Jesus' blood, if we will only confess our sin and offer our hearts up to Him. What work does this confession make room for God to do? The work of renewal.

Repentance is the restoration of baptism. It is a covenant made with God for a second life. Repentance is the purchasing of humility. Repentance is always distrustful of bodily enchantment. It is self-critical reasoning and solicitude for ones' carelessness. Repentance is the daughter of hope and the denial of hopelessness. Repentance is being guilty but not put to shame. Repentance is reconciliation with the Lord through the performance of good works that are the opposite of one’s faults. Repentance is the purification of conscience.
- John Climacus, Ladder of Paradise 5

Confession leads to repentance, the commitment live differently than we have before. When our repentance meets God's promise of grace and mercy, new life happens. This transformation, the renewal of our souls, is the essence of salvation; having been drawn to God, this renewal of our inner being makes us more like God, and less like the sinful nature we have identified and repented of. Confession and restoration are two sides of the same coin. Hear a prayer of confession and rebirth by Kenneth Slack:

God of mercy and forgiveness, For the times when our love of indulgence and ease have weakened our hold on spiritual things; pardon us.

For when we have not held our bodies in subjection, and have forgotten that they were meant to be temples of your Holy Spirit; pardon us.

For the times we have failed those who have trusted us,and have been concerned with ourselves when they needed our concern; pardon us.

For the times when we have failed in courage, when we have failed to take a stand for righteousness, when we have come to terms with evil in our own lives; pardon us.

And make us new, in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Let us kneel before God's throne, so that we may be forgiven and transformed according to God's image. May God's Spirit be with you today, and always.

Greg

Wickedness and holiness

This week, Greg Steele has prepared our devotional thoughts.

I wish now to review in memory my past wickedness and the carnal corruptions of my soul--not because I still love them, but that I may love thee, O my God. For love of thy love I do this, recalling in the bitterness of self-examination my wicked ways, that thou mayest grow sweet to me, thou sweetness without deception! Thou sweetness happy and assured! Thus thou mayest gather me up out of those fragments in which I was torn to pieces, while I turned away from thee, O Unity, and lost myself among "the many."
- Augustine, Confessions

Guilt, and the confession which it brings forth, are means by which we come to understand God's commitment to us in the context of our sin. Admitting and examining our own iniquity points us directly to God's long-suffering love, which welcomes us back in spite of our wrong-doing.

Now therefore, O our God, the great, mighty, and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love, do not let all this hardship seem trifling in your eyes - the hardship that has come upon us, upon our kings and leaders, upon our priests and prophets, upon our fathers and all your people, from the days of the kings of Assyria until today. In all that has happened to us, you have been just; you have acted faithfully, while we did wrong.
- Nehemiah 9:32-33

Confession, the admission of guilt, draws us to God. Recognizing our stains pulls us toward the only one who can wash them. Rather than trying to avoid or downplay our guilt, we identify it and call out to God to rectify it. Being drawn to God, we depend on the faithfulness of His commitment to us. We have done wrong, but His word still stands.

Guilt is not something to be afraid, but rather an integral part of the transformative process of salvation. Guilt, articulated in confession, recognizes who God is and who we are in relation. Confessing the sin that separates us draws us closer to our Savior, and enables us to become more like Him.

Lord, we have sinned, and betrayed you
We have wandered from you, but you have never left us
Forgive us, Lord
We have dug our own graves, apart from you
But please remember your covenant of forgiveness and of love
Do not leave us to our mistakes
Rather, please rescue us, that we may know your love
Your love, which is greater than all our mistakes Amen

Let us be drawn to God even in our struggles, that we may also participate in His holiness. May Christ move you today.

Greg