A father and his young son built a garden in their backyard; not a vegetable garden, but a miniature paradise with periwinkles, zinnias, and gladiolus. They laid flagstones from the back door to a bench under the shade of an old and beautiful tree. The rocks they dug up were used to build a waterfall so that the sound of water could be heard trickling down into a cool pool of rippling glass near the bench. To complete the effect, the son persuaded his father to get some fish to put into the pond. After some discussion about what kind of fish, goldfish were bought and the pond was stocked.
All was well for several weeks until one day the boy noticed that one of the larger fish was nipping at the tail of the one fish that was his favorite. This worried him so much that he talked his mother out of a large glass bowl into which to put the fish. When his father came home, he told his son that he didn’t think that this was wise and explained why he thought so. The boy was troubled by this, but still thought that the fish had much better chances of surviving in his room than in the pond.
Before very long, winter came, and although the boy worried very little about the fish in the pond, he took very good care of his favorite in the bowl. From time to time, when the son wasn’t looking, the father would come in, take a look at the fish, and leave the room gently shaking his head. On cold days, the boy would go look at the ice on top of the pool and leave slowly shaking his head. But the boy was happy with his pet fish, and winter quickly passed.
One spring morning, the boy went out into the yard to see how the other fish were doing. What he saw amazed him. The fish in the pond were 10 times the size of his pet fish! The boy ran to get his father, who came with him to look at the fish. The father wasn’t surprised at all, and explained to his son what had happened.
“It’s impossible to love too much son, but it is possible to love in the wrong way. Whenever you do something that makes you feel better, but isn’t for the best of the one that you love, that thing isn’t done out of love for the other, but out of love for self. To grow, creatures need room - room to explore, room to be with their equals, room to make mistakes and suffer the consequences of those mistakes. It is a hard thing to stand back and watch someone that you love paying the price for the things that they have done, but sometimes you just have to do it. It’s especially hard, too, when the bad things that happen aren’t necessarily fair, but a part of things that happen in life. That’s why I asked you not to take your favorite fish out of the pool - so he’d have a chance and some space to grow.”
“But why didn’t you make me leave the fish in the pool, Dad?” the boy asked.
“Because I loved you more than the fish,” said Dad.
Grace and peace,
Ron
