Have you ever had a day when things didn’t go like you wanted? A day where, no matter what you did, you couldn’t seem to get rid of the anger? Consider Cain’s anger problem …
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it."
Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?" And the Lord said, "What have you done? Listen; your brother's blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth." Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me." Then the Lord said to him, "Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance." And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
Genesis 4:3-16 – NRSV
Cain is mad at Abel. Cain is mad at God. Where did this anger come from? Why could Cain not quench this burning well of anger? What kept feeding it? Those are the questions that we will consider in greater detail this week: where anger comes from; how it affects the individual; how it deforms or reforms a community.
But for the moment, let’s just say that anger is the fruit of unmet expectations. Regardless of whether Cain offered the correct sacrifice, or whether he offered it with the right heart, he expected God to accept the sacrifice. Was that a realistic expectation? Did Cain allow God to have the freedom of choice to accept the sacrifice or not? When Cain's expectations for acceptance were not met, someone had to bear the blame. Enter Abel. Abel looks like the right person to blame; he's someone upon whom Cain can vent his anger, because, after all, God accepted Abel’s offering. God warns Cain about his anger, and points out its source to him, but Cain ignores the wisdom of the Lord. Exit Abel. Permanently.
While maintaining a merciful hand, God gives Cain the natural consequences of his violent act. Cain gets angry with God over that. Cain refuses the responsibility for his own circumstances and his own actions. His expectations don’t connect with reality. Instead of working through these differences, Cain stokes the emotional fires of anger and hate. It can’t be his fault, after all.
What are the unmet expectations with which you struggle today? What parts of your life are not like you want them? How do you deal with disappointments? Even if these desires are for things that are good or just, are you shaping your emotional response, or are your emotions controlling you? Do these frustrated expectations show up as hyper-sensitivity, as crankiness, as anger?
Today, let's consider the sources of frustration in our lives. What kinds of responses do we make to those frustrations? Can we think of ways that we might break the cycle? Let’s work together this week to find spiritual responses to these trying dilemmas.
Blessings,
Ron
