A prayer of hope:
Our Father in heaven!
We anticipate the day that we will
be with you in heaven, yet
we live in expectation that somehow now, today,
we will be in your presence,
we will live within your protection,
we will experience your joy.
May your Name be kept holy.
We trust that you will cleanse our lips
as we dare to speak your Name;
we hope to echo your Word so that
we might properly speak of your person;
we desire to live holy lives so that our story
might not defame your holy name
but lift it up to glory.
May your Kingdom come,
This is our expectation of liberation.
Yet we would be free from our sin today,
And we would help free our neighbors
As we have been freed ourselves.
We trust that your will might be done on earth,
just as it moves forward among your holy ones in heaven.
May we seek to enact your wisdom so that
glimpses of your community, your holy people,
might give hope to a world awaiting us
in eager expectation.
Give us the food we need today –
and since more than enough comes our way,
help our trust in your providence empower
our practice of sharing, not just our food,
but our story and our table.
Forgive us what we have done wrong,
but more than that, transform us
into people who bear your true image.
Shape the mind of Christ in us so that
we might practice the virtue of grace.
Thus, we too, will have forgiven those who have wronged us,
and find ourselves free from resentment’s burden
And cynicism’s caustic hardness.
And do not lead us into hard testing,
Yet if we must travel through your wilderness,
Fix our eyes on the signs of your presence, day and night,
In order that we might faithfully follow your path.
But keep us safe from the Evil One
So that we might not be persuaded to see the word
Or the world as he would have us see them.
For kingship, power and glory are yours forever,
And these are the fullness of our hope.
Amen.
Blessings,
Ron
From CJB, Matthew 6:9-12
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Away from home ...
Today’s text is full of great lessons, but we will only focus on a few. The kingdom of God is divided, and it is the time of the prophets and the kings. The prophet of the day is Elisha:
Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man and in high favor with his master, because by him the Lord had given victory to Aram. The man, though a mighty warrior, suffered from leprosy. Now the Arameans on one of their raids had taken a young girl captive from the land of Israel, and she served Naaman's wife. She said to her mistress, "If only my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy."
Naaman is a powerful and successful general. The God of Israel has given a series of great victories to him, even victories over God’s people. Yet Naaman remains unaware of the true source of his power. Whether he believes his power to come from his king, or from his god Rimmon is not clear. What is clear to Yahweh is that Naaman does not know him.
Remember that Naaman is not oppressed, he is the oppressor. Naaman is not weak, but powerful, both in battle and politics. Naaman is not the stranger, but the hero of his king and his people. Yet there comes into his life a problem that makes him an outsider. An issue that marginalizes him socially. Leprosy. This is a leprosy that the physicians, the priests, and even the king of Aram cannot heal.
So Naaman went in and told his lord just what the girl from the land of Israel had said. And the king of Aram said, "Go then, and I will send along a letter to the king of Israel." He went, taking with him ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten sets of garments. He brought the letter to the king of Israel, which read, "When this letter reaches you, know that I have sent to you my servant Naaman, that you may cure him of his leprosy." When the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes and said, "Am I God, to give death or life, that this man sends word to me to cure a man of his leprosy? Just look and see how he is trying to pick a quarrel with me."
We need to see right through the notion that this is a hospitable exchange. The kings of Israel and Aram are not playing by the same rules. There is a real power differential here. On the surface, the request appears to be a reasonable request for hospitality; “We have heard of the healing power within your nation; heal my servant.” Yet there is a thinly veiled threat behind the written message which can be found in the person of the messenger. It reads something like this: “Heal this great and terrible warrior or it will amuse me to turn him loose on you and your people.” Believe me, the king of Israel gets the message. And he is desperate in his search for a way out of his dilemma.
But when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, he sent a message to the king, "Why have you torn your clothes? Let him come to me, that he may learn that there is a prophet in Israel." So Naaman came with his horses and chariots, and halted at the entrance of Elisha's house. Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go, wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored and you shall be clean." But Naaman became angry and went away, saying, "I thought that for me he would surely come out, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy! Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?" He turned and went away in a rage.
Elisha does the hospitable thing: he issues an invitation to Naaman. This invitation relieves the pressure from Israel’s king and promises healing for Naaman. Yet when the general arrives at his tent, the prophet does not follow the normal course of hospitality and invite him in. Since Naaman is a leper, he might have expected that. Yet Elisha does not even come out of his tent to greet Naaman; he sends a messenger. Naaman takes this apparent social faux pas as an insult.
Why does Elisha do this? Is he afraid of Naaman? This doesn’t seem likely in view of the fact that he issued the invitation, and in light of the way that Elisha deals with an entire army around his tent (2 Kings 6). Is Elisha an introvert? Perhaps; there are some indications that he is socially hypersensitive (2 Kings 2:23-25). What seems more likely is the idea that Elisha is setting boundaries here. Elisha is willing to meet with Naaman (it does happen later in this story). But first Elisha must get it out of Naaman’s head that Naaman is in control of this situation. Without seizing power himself, Elisha manages to disarm Naaman of his power so that he can encounter the power of God. Naaman is not the one in power here.
Yet Naaman comes with all sorts of expectations, doesn’t he? Naaman likes it back home, yet he leaves there to come to this strange place because he grudgingly admits that he is not finding healing back home. He has clearly imagined, though, what this healing experience is going to be like, and he is greatly disappointed. Samaria is not what he expected. His host is not what he expected. The rules are not what he expected. He is not being allowed to be in control and rule his life the way that he is used to ruling his life. The fact that his experience is not meeting his expectation inevitably brings on anger. Deep seated anger. Does this story sound familiar to a community that welcomes hurting and outcast young men who are separated from their homes?
How does the story go? Everything is better back home: the rivers; the king, who is like a father to him; you name it. Things are better back in Aram. Yet the reality remains in his face. Literally. Leprosy. However good things appear to be back home, he could not find healing there.
But his servants approached and said to him, "Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, 'Wash, and be clean'?" So he went down and immersed himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; his flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.
Then he returned to the man of God, he and all his company; he came and stood before him and said, "Now I know that there is no God in all the earth except in Israel; please accept a present from your servant." But he said, "As the Lord lives, whom I serve, I will accept nothing!" He urged him to accept, but he refused. Then Naaman said, "If not, please let two mule-loads of earth be given to your servant; for your servant will no longer offer burnt offering or sacrifice to any god except the Lord. But may the Lord pardon your servant on one count: when my master goes into the house of Rimmon to worship there, leaning on my arm, and I bow down in the house of Rimmon, when I do bow down in the house of Rimmon, may the Lord pardon your servant on this one count." He said to him, "Go in peace."
The healing is not so much about the water as it is about obedience. The healing is not so much about physical location as it being in the right location with the God of Israel. Submissive.
Once Naaman is convicted of the power of God, he is converted into a believer in God. Once he steps into a right relationship with God, all of his other relationships start to fall into their proper places. He now respects the man of God enough to be able to stand in his presence and have a conversation free from power plays. Yet at the same time, he maintains a real respect for his master, the king of Aram, so as to be able to serve him faithfully without serving Aram’s false god and Yahweh’s rival, Rimmon. And because these relationships are right, Naaman, the great warrior, can leave in peace.
Is there is a lesson in this for those of us who work with people, both young and old? Yes. As long as people plow through life unaware of the power that makes their life possible, sharing time and space with them can be difficult. But as people come to understand who they are, and who God is, things change. Relationships change. The ability to have hospitable relationships change. So we can work on relationship skills between human beings, and so we ought. But the real breakthrough happens when a human being truly discovers their right relationship with God. This cannot be forced, but relies upon the faithful action of God in the face of the free will of his children. Not everyone is as quick of a student as is Naaman.
May God give us insight into the ways that we use power, boundaries, and hospitality in our relationships today.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man and in high favor with his master, because by him the Lord had given victory to Aram. The man, though a mighty warrior, suffered from leprosy. Now the Arameans on one of their raids had taken a young girl captive from the land of Israel, and she served Naaman's wife. She said to her mistress, "If only my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy."
Naaman is a powerful and successful general. The God of Israel has given a series of great victories to him, even victories over God’s people. Yet Naaman remains unaware of the true source of his power. Whether he believes his power to come from his king, or from his god Rimmon is not clear. What is clear to Yahweh is that Naaman does not know him.
Remember that Naaman is not oppressed, he is the oppressor. Naaman is not weak, but powerful, both in battle and politics. Naaman is not the stranger, but the hero of his king and his people. Yet there comes into his life a problem that makes him an outsider. An issue that marginalizes him socially. Leprosy. This is a leprosy that the physicians, the priests, and even the king of Aram cannot heal.
So Naaman went in and told his lord just what the girl from the land of Israel had said. And the king of Aram said, "Go then, and I will send along a letter to the king of Israel." He went, taking with him ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten sets of garments. He brought the letter to the king of Israel, which read, "When this letter reaches you, know that I have sent to you my servant Naaman, that you may cure him of his leprosy." When the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes and said, "Am I God, to give death or life, that this man sends word to me to cure a man of his leprosy? Just look and see how he is trying to pick a quarrel with me."
We need to see right through the notion that this is a hospitable exchange. The kings of Israel and Aram are not playing by the same rules. There is a real power differential here. On the surface, the request appears to be a reasonable request for hospitality; “We have heard of the healing power within your nation; heal my servant.” Yet there is a thinly veiled threat behind the written message which can be found in the person of the messenger. It reads something like this: “Heal this great and terrible warrior or it will amuse me to turn him loose on you and your people.” Believe me, the king of Israel gets the message. And he is desperate in his search for a way out of his dilemma.
But when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, he sent a message to the king, "Why have you torn your clothes? Let him come to me, that he may learn that there is a prophet in Israel." So Naaman came with his horses and chariots, and halted at the entrance of Elisha's house. Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go, wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored and you shall be clean." But Naaman became angry and went away, saying, "I thought that for me he would surely come out, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy! Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?" He turned and went away in a rage.
Elisha does the hospitable thing: he issues an invitation to Naaman. This invitation relieves the pressure from Israel’s king and promises healing for Naaman. Yet when the general arrives at his tent, the prophet does not follow the normal course of hospitality and invite him in. Since Naaman is a leper, he might have expected that. Yet Elisha does not even come out of his tent to greet Naaman; he sends a messenger. Naaman takes this apparent social faux pas as an insult.
Why does Elisha do this? Is he afraid of Naaman? This doesn’t seem likely in view of the fact that he issued the invitation, and in light of the way that Elisha deals with an entire army around his tent (2 Kings 6). Is Elisha an introvert? Perhaps; there are some indications that he is socially hypersensitive (2 Kings 2:23-25). What seems more likely is the idea that Elisha is setting boundaries here. Elisha is willing to meet with Naaman (it does happen later in this story). But first Elisha must get it out of Naaman’s head that Naaman is in control of this situation. Without seizing power himself, Elisha manages to disarm Naaman of his power so that he can encounter the power of God. Naaman is not the one in power here.
Yet Naaman comes with all sorts of expectations, doesn’t he? Naaman likes it back home, yet he leaves there to come to this strange place because he grudgingly admits that he is not finding healing back home. He has clearly imagined, though, what this healing experience is going to be like, and he is greatly disappointed. Samaria is not what he expected. His host is not what he expected. The rules are not what he expected. He is not being allowed to be in control and rule his life the way that he is used to ruling his life. The fact that his experience is not meeting his expectation inevitably brings on anger. Deep seated anger. Does this story sound familiar to a community that welcomes hurting and outcast young men who are separated from their homes?
How does the story go? Everything is better back home: the rivers; the king, who is like a father to him; you name it. Things are better back in Aram. Yet the reality remains in his face. Literally. Leprosy. However good things appear to be back home, he could not find healing there.
But his servants approached and said to him, "Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, 'Wash, and be clean'?" So he went down and immersed himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; his flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.
Then he returned to the man of God, he and all his company; he came and stood before him and said, "Now I know that there is no God in all the earth except in Israel; please accept a present from your servant." But he said, "As the Lord lives, whom I serve, I will accept nothing!" He urged him to accept, but he refused. Then Naaman said, "If not, please let two mule-loads of earth be given to your servant; for your servant will no longer offer burnt offering or sacrifice to any god except the Lord. But may the Lord pardon your servant on one count: when my master goes into the house of Rimmon to worship there, leaning on my arm, and I bow down in the house of Rimmon, when I do bow down in the house of Rimmon, may the Lord pardon your servant on this one count." He said to him, "Go in peace."
The healing is not so much about the water as it is about obedience. The healing is not so much about physical location as it being in the right location with the God of Israel. Submissive.
Once Naaman is convicted of the power of God, he is converted into a believer in God. Once he steps into a right relationship with God, all of his other relationships start to fall into their proper places. He now respects the man of God enough to be able to stand in his presence and have a conversation free from power plays. Yet at the same time, he maintains a real respect for his master, the king of Aram, so as to be able to serve him faithfully without serving Aram’s false god and Yahweh’s rival, Rimmon. And because these relationships are right, Naaman, the great warrior, can leave in peace.
Is there is a lesson in this for those of us who work with people, both young and old? Yes. As long as people plow through life unaware of the power that makes their life possible, sharing time and space with them can be difficult. But as people come to understand who they are, and who God is, things change. Relationships change. The ability to have hospitable relationships change. So we can work on relationship skills between human beings, and so we ought. But the real breakthrough happens when a human being truly discovers their right relationship with God. This cannot be forced, but relies upon the faithful action of God in the face of the free will of his children. Not everyone is as quick of a student as is Naaman.
May God give us insight into the ways that we use power, boundaries, and hospitality in our relationships today.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Monday, November 17, 2008
Stopping in the gap ...
“Angry words! O let them never,
From the tongue unbridled slip …”
Oh, right. Like that’s the choice that we make. We know better. We’ve noted, over the last several days, that anger is an emotion that we experience when our expectations are not met. Sometimes those expectations are realistic, sometimes not. Sometimes those expectations are godly, sometimes not so much. Yet when we don’t get what we expect, we become angry. And we speak angry words.
The problem is not so much the feeling though, as what we do with it. “Be angry, but do not sin …” (Eph 4:26). Isn’t that precisely our dilemma, though? Isn’t the tricky part feeling the anger, even if it is righteous, yet not sinning with it? Don’t we altogether too frequently fail to let the best impulses of our heart check our words before they soil our lips and mar our friendships?
Unfortunately, “angry words are lightly spoken,” because we are too willing to rashly stir bitter thoughts. Why is that? I think that it is, once again, because of unrealistic expectations. Somehow we think that doing or saying this angry thing is going to produce the result we want. But do we really believe that if we speak angry words delivering nearly unfiltered thoughts that any good thing is going to happen? Do we believe that our anger is going to cause the offending person to say, “Oh, my! I see that I have offended you. Let me please give you what you expected right away so that we can make this right …” So how’s that working for us?
People don’t react like that, do they? Because when we use angry words or actions, we upset their expectations. What are those expectations? Expectations for peace, for harmonious relationships, for respectful renegotiations of responsibilities, for emotionally safe solutions to problems. So when these expectations are not met, what happens to the other person? They feel angry. And so the vicious anger cycle wraps up with even more energy.
It isn’t important to identify who started the vicious anger cycle, but rather to find the person who will stop it. By that I don’t mean who will finish it by getting in the last word. The question is rather, who will be the peacemaker, who will be the child of God who feels the anger, yet is willing to step in with a word of peace and create the opportunity to negotiate met expectations for all parties? That is the person we need to be. That is the action that we need to take.
Stop.
Seize the moment between the stimulus and the response.
Acknowledge how we feel.
Determine what made us feel that way, especially if it seems too big or too bizarre for the circumstances.
Find our unmet need.
Think about the other persons feelings.
Creatively imagine what led them to those feelings.
Consider what unmet needs might have led them to this place.
Talk with that other person about how to mutually negotiate peace, a stronger relationship, and a possible fulfillment of our expectations.
Peace first. Stronger relationship second. Fulfilled needs last.
Remember:
“Love one another thus saith the Savior,
Children obey the Father’s blest command,
Love each other, love each other,
’Tis the Father’s blest command.”
That love is not to be in our words only, but in every action.
Grace and peace,
Ron
*Quotations are from “Angry Words,” by Horatio R. Palmer
From the tongue unbridled slip …”
Oh, right. Like that’s the choice that we make. We know better. We’ve noted, over the last several days, that anger is an emotion that we experience when our expectations are not met. Sometimes those expectations are realistic, sometimes not. Sometimes those expectations are godly, sometimes not so much. Yet when we don’t get what we expect, we become angry. And we speak angry words.
The problem is not so much the feeling though, as what we do with it. “Be angry, but do not sin …” (Eph 4:26). Isn’t that precisely our dilemma, though? Isn’t the tricky part feeling the anger, even if it is righteous, yet not sinning with it? Don’t we altogether too frequently fail to let the best impulses of our heart check our words before they soil our lips and mar our friendships?
Unfortunately, “angry words are lightly spoken,” because we are too willing to rashly stir bitter thoughts. Why is that? I think that it is, once again, because of unrealistic expectations. Somehow we think that doing or saying this angry thing is going to produce the result we want. But do we really believe that if we speak angry words delivering nearly unfiltered thoughts that any good thing is going to happen? Do we believe that our anger is going to cause the offending person to say, “Oh, my! I see that I have offended you. Let me please give you what you expected right away so that we can make this right …” So how’s that working for us?
People don’t react like that, do they? Because when we use angry words or actions, we upset their expectations. What are those expectations? Expectations for peace, for harmonious relationships, for respectful renegotiations of responsibilities, for emotionally safe solutions to problems. So when these expectations are not met, what happens to the other person? They feel angry. And so the vicious anger cycle wraps up with even more energy.
It isn’t important to identify who started the vicious anger cycle, but rather to find the person who will stop it. By that I don’t mean who will finish it by getting in the last word. The question is rather, who will be the peacemaker, who will be the child of God who feels the anger, yet is willing to step in with a word of peace and create the opportunity to negotiate met expectations for all parties? That is the person we need to be. That is the action that we need to take.
Stop.
Seize the moment between the stimulus and the response.
Acknowledge how we feel.
Determine what made us feel that way, especially if it seems too big or too bizarre for the circumstances.
Find our unmet need.
Think about the other persons feelings.
Creatively imagine what led them to those feelings.
Consider what unmet needs might have led them to this place.
Talk with that other person about how to mutually negotiate peace, a stronger relationship, and a possible fulfillment of our expectations.
Peace first. Stronger relationship second. Fulfilled needs last.
Remember:
“Love one another thus saith the Savior,
Children obey the Father’s blest command,
Love each other, love each other,
’Tis the Father’s blest command.”
That love is not to be in our words only, but in every action.
Grace and peace,
Ron
*Quotations are from “Angry Words,” by Horatio R. Palmer
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Who do you want me to be?
Sometimes the most troubling sources of unmet expectations are relationships. You might remember, for example, the romance between Michal and David. They had issues from the first, and it always seemed difficult for either one to get the relationship to the place they wanted it to be. The scriptures say that Michal loved David (which only leaves us to wonder how David felt about Michal). Michal, at great risk to her own life, helps David escape her father, Saul. Then, because David is hiding out in the wilderness, Saul pawns Michal off on Paltiel, who genuinely loves her. Once David becomes king, he demands that Michal be returned to him. Which brings us to this difficult story:
So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing; and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.
As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.
They brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and offerings of well-being before the Lord. . . .
David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, "How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants' maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!" David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor." And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
2 Samuel 6:12-23 – NRSV
Michael “despised him in her heart” when David did not behave as she believed a king should behave. Paltiel worshiped her and only her; David tends to be non-committal to all of his wives, and devotes all of his worship to Yahweh, the God with whom her father had such a troubled relationship. “At least my father knew how to behave like a king,” she thinks. Then she speaks sentences that mercilessly drip sarcasm to David as he walks through the front door. “How the king of Israel honored himself today . . . ,” meaning exactly the opposite. And then she rebukes him for exposing his handsome physique to other women, as if he didn’t have enough. Obviously this stirs more than one jealous bone in Michal’s body.
Michal is furious because she doesn’t have the husband/wife relationship that she wants. She has expectations that David does not meet, nor does he appear to plan to meet them. So she: (1) finds fault with her mate’s behavior. (2) Uses deliberately punitive language, not in a real attempt to change the behavior, but in order to hurt. (3) Keeps inflaming the situation with her anger until she gets a similar response of anger from her partner.
Don’t think for a moment that I find David faultless here. But the question that a counselor might ask Michal is, “So, how’s that working for you?” If Michal were to be honest, she would have to admit that her way of dealing with this relationship wasn’t working. And this time, as she applies force to try to shift the situation back to something she considers to be normal, she uses too much force and breaks the relationship. Permanently.
I don’t think that Michal has stopped loving David. Michal has stopped trusting David. That is understandable on so many fronts. Instead of working on the trust issue, though, she mugs him on every other issue until he no longer trusts her either. Once both parties have lost trust, there is not much of a relationship left. Just anger. Anger over unmet expectations of what it ought to be like to have a loving spouse.
Does this connect with our lives anywhere? Perhaps this applies to your relationship with a spouse, but maybe it better describes a relationship with someone else. Are we angry with someone because they won’t shape their relationship with us according to our expectations? Why do we feel the need to control the relationship? Why don’t we trust them? We had better answer those questions and deal with the answers if we want to keep that relationship.
The problem of unmet expectations about relationships applies to our boys, too. Imagine how they feel when their mom or their dad just won’t be the kind of parent that they idealize. They want that relationship to be right, but when it doesn’t work, their anger begins to take over one part of their life after another. We can never be their “real” mom or dad, but we can be the kind of parental figure that is predictable, and loving, and safe. And eventually, that may allow them to let some of their anger go.
Every relationship is precious and unique, so work hard to preserve them.
Show grace, live in peace –
Ron
So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing; and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.
As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.
They brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and offerings of well-being before the Lord. . . .
David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, "How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants' maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!" David said to Michal, "It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor." And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
2 Samuel 6:12-23 – NRSV
Michael “despised him in her heart” when David did not behave as she believed a king should behave. Paltiel worshiped her and only her; David tends to be non-committal to all of his wives, and devotes all of his worship to Yahweh, the God with whom her father had such a troubled relationship. “At least my father knew how to behave like a king,” she thinks. Then she speaks sentences that mercilessly drip sarcasm to David as he walks through the front door. “How the king of Israel honored himself today . . . ,” meaning exactly the opposite. And then she rebukes him for exposing his handsome physique to other women, as if he didn’t have enough. Obviously this stirs more than one jealous bone in Michal’s body.
Michal is furious because she doesn’t have the husband/wife relationship that she wants. She has expectations that David does not meet, nor does he appear to plan to meet them. So she: (1) finds fault with her mate’s behavior. (2) Uses deliberately punitive language, not in a real attempt to change the behavior, but in order to hurt. (3) Keeps inflaming the situation with her anger until she gets a similar response of anger from her partner.
Don’t think for a moment that I find David faultless here. But the question that a counselor might ask Michal is, “So, how’s that working for you?” If Michal were to be honest, she would have to admit that her way of dealing with this relationship wasn’t working. And this time, as she applies force to try to shift the situation back to something she considers to be normal, she uses too much force and breaks the relationship. Permanently.
I don’t think that Michal has stopped loving David. Michal has stopped trusting David. That is understandable on so many fronts. Instead of working on the trust issue, though, she mugs him on every other issue until he no longer trusts her either. Once both parties have lost trust, there is not much of a relationship left. Just anger. Anger over unmet expectations of what it ought to be like to have a loving spouse.
Does this connect with our lives anywhere? Perhaps this applies to your relationship with a spouse, but maybe it better describes a relationship with someone else. Are we angry with someone because they won’t shape their relationship with us according to our expectations? Why do we feel the need to control the relationship? Why don’t we trust them? We had better answer those questions and deal with the answers if we want to keep that relationship.
The problem of unmet expectations about relationships applies to our boys, too. Imagine how they feel when their mom or their dad just won’t be the kind of parent that they idealize. They want that relationship to be right, but when it doesn’t work, their anger begins to take over one part of their life after another. We can never be their “real” mom or dad, but we can be the kind of parental figure that is predictable, and loving, and safe. And eventually, that may allow them to let some of their anger go.
Every relationship is precious and unique, so work hard to preserve them.
Show grace, live in peace –
Ron
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Expecting safety, experiencing fear, feeling angry
“Be afraid. Be very afraid.” People who are parents, and people who serve in the place of parents, are going to experience fear.
This is because their children will do things, or their children will experience things, that will scare them silly. Consider the example of Mary:
Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming that he was in the group of travelers, they went a day's journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends.
When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, "Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety." He said to them, "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favor.
Luke 2:41-52 - NRSV
It is not difficult to imagine the fear of Mary and Joseph. Think about needing to say this prayer: “O Lord, it appears that we have lost your only begotten son. Help!” It wouldn’t help to know that God would already be perfectly aware of your dilemma. Of your parental shortcomings. The sinking feeling that a parent has in their gut when they know something is wrong for one of their children can be an overwhelming kind of fear.
A troubled pregnancy. An uncontrolled fever. Crying that won’t stop. The unexpected visit to the emergency room. Missing in the mall. The unimaginable fall. An encounter with truly evil people. A car accident. A poor choice for a romantic relationship. For any parent that is awake, these can be fearful situations.
But look what happens when the fear is past. Anger. Anger taken to the very limit of words. Even from the saintly Mary. Can’t you hear it in her voice? “Child, why have you treated us like this?”
The reality is that anger frequently follows fear. Why is this? As humans we have an expectation of safety even though we are intelligent enough to know that the world is not exactly a safe place. To be able to function at all, those of us who maintain some level of sanity learn how to deal with that lack of safety. Sometimes we establish complex systems designed to guarantee that safety. We choose houses in certain locations, either for their remoteness or the level of police protection. We install locks. We exercise vigilance. We practice denial. Which is all fine until you take those precious babies outside your little castle and have them interact with other human beings.
Every measure of safety can be defeated. Which means that safety is too frequently is either relative or an illusion. Yet there is one exception to the safety problem. God. Hear the words of David:
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation,
my stronghold and my refuge,
my savior; you save me from violence.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
2 Samuel 22:2-4 – NRSV
(If you really want to feel safe in the protection of God, read the rest of that chapter.) Do you think perhaps that even the courageous David experienced fear and anger? I think that it is a near certainty. Yet the source of safety for this great person was God. Only God.
So how will we avoid anger after we experience fear? I don’t think that we can or ought to try to stop the feelings, but I do think that we need to be careful what we do with them. I don’t think that we can avoid the anger, but we have listen to what it is telling us. Our expectation of safety has been disappointed. How can we regain safety? There may be things that we can do. But if it is possible at all, it will be with our God, our Rock. We must trust him, and believe, even when it is not readily apparent, that he is in control (and ought to be).
One other thing. If dealing with fear and anger are so difficult for us as adults, who have some level of maturity (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual), can we imagine what this fear and anger might be like for a child? Can we contemplate the overwhelming feelings that an abused or neglected child feels when they have been living in the survival mode, the mode of fear, for years? Can we imagine the anger on the other side of their fear? Perhaps thinking about this will move us to construct a little corner of God’s kingdom in our homes so that the children in our care can experience safety. Perhaps for the first time in recent history. Yet they may have to experience safety for a while before they can make safe, and not angry, choices for themselves.
Lean upon the Rock. Hide behind him on the really tough days. He wants you to rely on him.
Blessings,
Ron
This is because their children will do things, or their children will experience things, that will scare them silly. Consider the example of Mary:
Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming that he was in the group of travelers, they went a day's journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends.
When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, "Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety." He said to them, "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favor.
Luke 2:41-52 - NRSV
It is not difficult to imagine the fear of Mary and Joseph. Think about needing to say this prayer: “O Lord, it appears that we have lost your only begotten son. Help!” It wouldn’t help to know that God would already be perfectly aware of your dilemma. Of your parental shortcomings. The sinking feeling that a parent has in their gut when they know something is wrong for one of their children can be an overwhelming kind of fear.
A troubled pregnancy. An uncontrolled fever. Crying that won’t stop. The unexpected visit to the emergency room. Missing in the mall. The unimaginable fall. An encounter with truly evil people. A car accident. A poor choice for a romantic relationship. For any parent that is awake, these can be fearful situations.
But look what happens when the fear is past. Anger. Anger taken to the very limit of words. Even from the saintly Mary. Can’t you hear it in her voice? “Child, why have you treated us like this?”
The reality is that anger frequently follows fear. Why is this? As humans we have an expectation of safety even though we are intelligent enough to know that the world is not exactly a safe place. To be able to function at all, those of us who maintain some level of sanity learn how to deal with that lack of safety. Sometimes we establish complex systems designed to guarantee that safety. We choose houses in certain locations, either for their remoteness or the level of police protection. We install locks. We exercise vigilance. We practice denial. Which is all fine until you take those precious babies outside your little castle and have them interact with other human beings.
Every measure of safety can be defeated. Which means that safety is too frequently is either relative or an illusion. Yet there is one exception to the safety problem. God. Hear the words of David:
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation,
my stronghold and my refuge,
my savior; you save me from violence.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
2 Samuel 22:2-4 – NRSV
(If you really want to feel safe in the protection of God, read the rest of that chapter.) Do you think perhaps that even the courageous David experienced fear and anger? I think that it is a near certainty. Yet the source of safety for this great person was God. Only God.
So how will we avoid anger after we experience fear? I don’t think that we can or ought to try to stop the feelings, but I do think that we need to be careful what we do with them. I don’t think that we can avoid the anger, but we have listen to what it is telling us. Our expectation of safety has been disappointed. How can we regain safety? There may be things that we can do. But if it is possible at all, it will be with our God, our Rock. We must trust him, and believe, even when it is not readily apparent, that he is in control (and ought to be).
One other thing. If dealing with fear and anger are so difficult for us as adults, who have some level of maturity (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual), can we imagine what this fear and anger might be like for a child? Can we contemplate the overwhelming feelings that an abused or neglected child feels when they have been living in the survival mode, the mode of fear, for years? Can we imagine the anger on the other side of their fear? Perhaps thinking about this will move us to construct a little corner of God’s kingdom in our homes so that the children in our care can experience safety. Perhaps for the first time in recent history. Yet they may have to experience safety for a while before they can make safe, and not angry, choices for themselves.
Lean upon the Rock. Hide behind him on the really tough days. He wants you to rely on him.
Blessings,
Ron
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
An expectation of joy ...
In the beginning …
If ever there was a time that could be called perfect, this was it. Again and again, God speaks things into existence. When the Creator sees his work, he sees that it is good, and it really is. Into this flawless world, this perfect cosmos, God inserts two perfectly healthy, hand-matched, hand-made human beings. Adam is overwhelmed. When the Namer first sees his mate, he is quick to name her and claim her; he is content that he finally has the perfect helpmeet. Together, walking, and talking, and working with God are just as natural and pleasurable as any life could possibly be.
Unfortunately, most humans experience satisfaction as a fleeting feeling, a passing moment. The experience of Adam and Eve is no different. The Adversary picks on the one who did not personally hear the instruction to avoid the tree of good and evil to find a gap to jab in his wedge of doubt. But the one who heard the instruction stands right there, without a word of protest, as doubt is cast upon the trustworthiness of God. The adversary inserts distrust into human minds: “Perhaps the Creator did not tell us the truth about the tree.” The adversary inserts a desire into human hearts – a desire for mastery and control: “Perhaps if we possess the knowledge of good and evil then we can control our garden, our world, just as God controls it now.”
And so, for the very first time, man and woman experienced something negative together; they expected something other than that which God was giving them. Neither human was flawed, because they were both perfectly made by the Creator of all creation. Yet because of their free wills, they both failed and fell. They both were separated from the tree of life, and consequently, they both started dying the day they chose unsafely. What God said would happen began to happen.
Now people have read into this scripture a dozen things that it does not say. They make it out that somehow either man or woman, or both, become something less than what they were created to be. The scripture does not say this. God describes things that would happen to them outside of the garden, and he describes things that they would do to each other, but he did not prescribe that humans would become less than human. He merely mourns the fact that from here on out, because of their freedom of choice (one of the ways they live in the image of God), and because of their separation from a daily walk with God, every human being will choose to exercise their freedom of choice to rebel against God and his will. Every human will choose to behave less than humanly. Every one, that is, except the promised one.
How about us? How much discontent, how much suffering, how much evil comes from our unrealistic expectations, from our unwillingness to choose to be content? How much grief and anger do we create for ourselves because we will not trust God to keep his promises? How much grief and anger do we cause for others because we seek to snatch control of the universe out of the hands of God because we think we can do better or work faster? Haven’t we learned the cost of our discontent yet? Paul counsels us to wisdom: “For I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13 – NRSV).
Most of us have experienced plenty and want. All of us know what it is to be stuffed and to be hollow. Yet, if we are honest, we can say that God has proven to be faithful to us from one extreme to the other. If he is still with us, and he promised that he would be, can we not stop obsessing over controlling every little event in our lives, or those events of our children’s lives, and let God prove his providence? Can we not make it our expectation that God will provide just what we need, just at the right time?
In that expectation, there is joy. There is contentment. There is glory. Not in our conquering the world, but in watching our God work alongside our meager efforts so that he can fill our lives to overflowing with so many good things.
Consequently, dwell today in the words of this psalm:
Praise the Lord!
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart,
in the company of the upright, in the congregation.
Great are the works of the Lord,
studied by all who delight in them.
Full of honor and majesty is his work,
and his righteousness endures forever.
He has gained renown by his wonderful deeds;
the Lord is gracious and merciful.
He provides food for those who fear him;
he is ever mindful of his covenant.
He has shown his people the power of his works,
in giving them the heritage of the nations.
The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.
They are established forever and ever,
to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.
He sent redemption to his people;
he has commanded his covenant forever.
Holy and awesome is his name.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever.
Psalm 111 – NRSV
May his name be praised!
Ron
If ever there was a time that could be called perfect, this was it. Again and again, God speaks things into existence. When the Creator sees his work, he sees that it is good, and it really is. Into this flawless world, this perfect cosmos, God inserts two perfectly healthy, hand-matched, hand-made human beings. Adam is overwhelmed. When the Namer first sees his mate, he is quick to name her and claim her; he is content that he finally has the perfect helpmeet. Together, walking, and talking, and working with God are just as natural and pleasurable as any life could possibly be.
Unfortunately, most humans experience satisfaction as a fleeting feeling, a passing moment. The experience of Adam and Eve is no different. The Adversary picks on the one who did not personally hear the instruction to avoid the tree of good and evil to find a gap to jab in his wedge of doubt. But the one who heard the instruction stands right there, without a word of protest, as doubt is cast upon the trustworthiness of God. The adversary inserts distrust into human minds: “Perhaps the Creator did not tell us the truth about the tree.” The adversary inserts a desire into human hearts – a desire for mastery and control: “Perhaps if we possess the knowledge of good and evil then we can control our garden, our world, just as God controls it now.”
And so, for the very first time, man and woman experienced something negative together; they expected something other than that which God was giving them. Neither human was flawed, because they were both perfectly made by the Creator of all creation. Yet because of their free wills, they both failed and fell. They both were separated from the tree of life, and consequently, they both started dying the day they chose unsafely. What God said would happen began to happen.
Now people have read into this scripture a dozen things that it does not say. They make it out that somehow either man or woman, or both, become something less than what they were created to be. The scripture does not say this. God describes things that would happen to them outside of the garden, and he describes things that they would do to each other, but he did not prescribe that humans would become less than human. He merely mourns the fact that from here on out, because of their freedom of choice (one of the ways they live in the image of God), and because of their separation from a daily walk with God, every human being will choose to exercise their freedom of choice to rebel against God and his will. Every human will choose to behave less than humanly. Every one, that is, except the promised one.
How about us? How much discontent, how much suffering, how much evil comes from our unrealistic expectations, from our unwillingness to choose to be content? How much grief and anger do we create for ourselves because we will not trust God to keep his promises? How much grief and anger do we cause for others because we seek to snatch control of the universe out of the hands of God because we think we can do better or work faster? Haven’t we learned the cost of our discontent yet? Paul counsels us to wisdom: “For I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13 – NRSV).
Most of us have experienced plenty and want. All of us know what it is to be stuffed and to be hollow. Yet, if we are honest, we can say that God has proven to be faithful to us from one extreme to the other. If he is still with us, and he promised that he would be, can we not stop obsessing over controlling every little event in our lives, or those events of our children’s lives, and let God prove his providence? Can we not make it our expectation that God will provide just what we need, just at the right time?
In that expectation, there is joy. There is contentment. There is glory. Not in our conquering the world, but in watching our God work alongside our meager efforts so that he can fill our lives to overflowing with so many good things.
Consequently, dwell today in the words of this psalm:
Praise the Lord!
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart,
in the company of the upright, in the congregation.
Great are the works of the Lord,
studied by all who delight in them.
Full of honor and majesty is his work,
and his righteousness endures forever.
He has gained renown by his wonderful deeds;
the Lord is gracious and merciful.
He provides food for those who fear him;
he is ever mindful of his covenant.
He has shown his people the power of his works,
in giving them the heritage of the nations.
The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.
They are established forever and ever,
to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.
He sent redemption to his people;
he has commanded his covenant forever.
Holy and awesome is his name.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever.
Psalm 111 – NRSV
May his name be praised!
Ron
Monday, November 10, 2008
The fruit of unmet expectations ...
Have you ever had a day when things didn’t go like you wanted? A day where, no matter what you did, you couldn’t seem to get rid of the anger? Consider Cain’s anger problem …
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it."
Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?" And the Lord said, "What have you done? Listen; your brother's blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth." Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me." Then the Lord said to him, "Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance." And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
Genesis 4:3-16 – NRSV
Cain is mad at Abel. Cain is mad at God. Where did this anger come from? Why could Cain not quench this burning well of anger? What kept feeding it? Those are the questions that we will consider in greater detail this week: where anger comes from; how it affects the individual; how it deforms or reforms a community.
But for the moment, let’s just say that anger is the fruit of unmet expectations. Regardless of whether Cain offered the correct sacrifice, or whether he offered it with the right heart, he expected God to accept the sacrifice. Was that a realistic expectation? Did Cain allow God to have the freedom of choice to accept the sacrifice or not? When Cain's expectations for acceptance were not met, someone had to bear the blame. Enter Abel. Abel looks like the right person to blame; he's someone upon whom Cain can vent his anger, because, after all, God accepted Abel’s offering. God warns Cain about his anger, and points out its source to him, but Cain ignores the wisdom of the Lord. Exit Abel. Permanently.
While maintaining a merciful hand, God gives Cain the natural consequences of his violent act. Cain gets angry with God over that. Cain refuses the responsibility for his own circumstances and his own actions. His expectations don’t connect with reality. Instead of working through these differences, Cain stokes the emotional fires of anger and hate. It can’t be his fault, after all.
What are the unmet expectations with which you struggle today? What parts of your life are not like you want them? How do you deal with disappointments? Even if these desires are for things that are good or just, are you shaping your emotional response, or are your emotions controlling you? Do these frustrated expectations show up as hyper-sensitivity, as crankiness, as anger?
Today, let's consider the sources of frustration in our lives. What kinds of responses do we make to those frustrations? Can we think of ways that we might break the cycle? Let’s work together this week to find spiritual responses to these trying dilemmas.
Blessings,
Ron
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it."
Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?" And the Lord said, "What have you done? Listen; your brother's blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth." Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets me may kill me." Then the Lord said to him, "Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a sevenfold vengeance." And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so that no one who came upon him would kill him. Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord, and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
Genesis 4:3-16 – NRSV
Cain is mad at Abel. Cain is mad at God. Where did this anger come from? Why could Cain not quench this burning well of anger? What kept feeding it? Those are the questions that we will consider in greater detail this week: where anger comes from; how it affects the individual; how it deforms or reforms a community.
But for the moment, let’s just say that anger is the fruit of unmet expectations. Regardless of whether Cain offered the correct sacrifice, or whether he offered it with the right heart, he expected God to accept the sacrifice. Was that a realistic expectation? Did Cain allow God to have the freedom of choice to accept the sacrifice or not? When Cain's expectations for acceptance were not met, someone had to bear the blame. Enter Abel. Abel looks like the right person to blame; he's someone upon whom Cain can vent his anger, because, after all, God accepted Abel’s offering. God warns Cain about his anger, and points out its source to him, but Cain ignores the wisdom of the Lord. Exit Abel. Permanently.
While maintaining a merciful hand, God gives Cain the natural consequences of his violent act. Cain gets angry with God over that. Cain refuses the responsibility for his own circumstances and his own actions. His expectations don’t connect with reality. Instead of working through these differences, Cain stokes the emotional fires of anger and hate. It can’t be his fault, after all.
What are the unmet expectations with which you struggle today? What parts of your life are not like you want them? How do you deal with disappointments? Even if these desires are for things that are good or just, are you shaping your emotional response, or are your emotions controlling you? Do these frustrated expectations show up as hyper-sensitivity, as crankiness, as anger?
Today, let's consider the sources of frustration in our lives. What kinds of responses do we make to those frustrations? Can we think of ways that we might break the cycle? Let’s work together this week to find spiritual responses to these trying dilemmas.
Blessings,
Ron
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)