Never aggravate an old bear!
Last week someone rolled their eyes at me. Not just a quick arc of the eyes from one corner to another, this eye roll had a Stevie Wonder head sway with it. It was as if his eyes couldn’t roll significantly enough on their own; they needed some help from the neck.
At the time, I was serving as a guest lecturer in Dudley Chancey’s Introduction to Ministry class at Oklahoma Christian. I enjoyed it. Thirty young men and women sat in the class, alert and taking notes (their quiz grade for the day was based on the quality of their note taking). It was a good opportunity to talk with them about the challenges of working with at-risk children, and their questions were interesting and insightful.
Toward the end of class, Dudley interviewed me about various aspects of ministry. After several questions, the topic shifted. Because Dudley was aware of several ministers who had lost their jobs in the last couple of weeks over sexual issues, he asked me about ways to maintain sexual fidelity as a minister. I gave a couple of suggestions which stirred no more reaction than a few pens moving over a piece of paper. But when I got personal, and talked about a personal practice I find helps me keep my heart right, I saw a young man in the back row give the eye roll. I don’t think that he really meant for me to see it, but I did. After all, you see a lot when you teach a class. When his eyes finished their half orbit, my eyes were there waiting on his.
Now, I didn’t get mad, but I wasn’t exactly amused either. Someone asked me a question and I gave an answer. If you don’t like my answer, okay. If you don’t want to practice the practices I practice, then don’t. I’m good with that. But don’t minimize me with an eye roll. Don’t minimize an issue like sexual fidelity by not considering simple, every day practices which can help prevent it.
I didn’t say anything to embarrass him, but a point which I would normally make and move on now required me to hammer it home. The annoyed young man thought that I didn’t get it, that I don’t understand contemporary culture, that I wasn’t aware of the world as it really is. I hammered the point because the young man didn’t get the fact that sexual sin could kill his marriage and ministry, that contemporary culture is oversexed, and that the world seems to expect us to live like hormone-driven animals instead of spiritual creatures making free-will choices with their intelligence.
Afterwards Dudley and I shared lunch. “They think we’re just a couple of dirty old men,” Dudley said. “They just don’t get how quickly this stuff can bring anybody down.” I think that Dudley is right. A couple of them just didn’t get it.
The whole episode reminded me of what happened in 2 Kings 2:23-24:
He went up from there to Bethel; and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go away, baldhead! Go away, baldhead!" When he turned around and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
I need for you to understand that I had no hopes for a bear to come along and maul the young man listening to my lecture. No finger pointing. No curses. Perhaps it would be better for that to have happened, though, and for him to have learned something from it, than for him to go blithely on and find out the hard way, ten or fifteen years into a marriage, that he isn’t sexually invulnerable after all. Our sexuality, after all, is more powerful than we can manage on our own. Never think, “It couldn’t happen to me.” Only with the help of God, through persistent spiritual disciplines, and hopefully with the partnership of a loving spouse, can we be holy people.
May God help us to learn from those who walk alongside us. May their wisdom and insight help us, guide us, and shape us so that we don’t have to learn everything the hard way.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Showing posts with label accountability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accountability. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Power and accountability ...
There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David; David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker.
Sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; the third, Absalom son of Maacah, daughter of King Talmai of Geshur; the fourth, Adonijah son of Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, of David's wife Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron.
While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah daughter of Aiah. And Ishbaal said to Abner, "Why have you gone in to my father's concubine?"
The words of Ishbaal made Abner very angry; he said, "Am I a dog's head for Judah? Today I keep showing loyalty to the house of your father Saul, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David; and yet you charge me now with a crime concerning this woman. So may God do to Abner and so may he add to it! For just what the Lord has sworn to David, that will I accomplish for him, to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul, and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beer-sheba."
And Ishbaal could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.
2 Samuel 3:1-11 - NRSV
After the death of Saul and the beginning of the civil war, the inevitable comes to pass: David’s house gains power while Saul’s house loses it. This transition is symbolized by the wives and sons of the two families. Each of David’s growing list of wives represent an alliance of power: political, military, or financial. Most of David’s wives produce an heir potential for the throne of Judah. Meanwhile, Saul’s enemies have killed many of Saul’s sons, and his friends have proven the survivors to be weaklings. Saul’s women are in enough jeopardy to seek alliances wherever they can. David’s growing power versus Saul’s diminishing strength.
What power remains in the house of Saul has been swallowed up by Abner. Since Abner’s power put Ishbaal into power, Ishbaal hasn’t complained about it. Not until now.
When kings died or experienced defeat, the new power figure would often take the wives and concubines of the old king into his harem. Thus the power that went with the alliances represented by these marriages went these women. For anybody else to sleep with the wife or concubine of a king is blatantly subversive. If Ishbaal is right, this sex is not about celebration or procreation; it is about power. Ishbaal accuses Abner, not just of sleeping with one of his father’s concubines, but of rebelling against Ishbaal to the extent of beginning to act like the king of Israel himself.
If we listen to Abner carefully, we never hear him deny his relationship with Rizpah. He is adamant, though, that this was done neither to claim the throne for himself, nor to give it to David. The relationship is personal, not political. Essentially, Abner says, ”You think that I’m giving the throne to David? I’ll show you what it looks like to give the throne to David!” And so he does it. Ishbaal is so weak that he can do absolutely nothing to stop the transfer of Israel’s loyalty from the house of Saul to David.
Abner’s moves are all about power. He moves to take power that others can’t keep or handle. He uses the power for his own loyalties and purposes with absolute disregard for the lives or happiness of his pawns. Then he refuses to be accountable to anyone for his use of that power. Even if we grant Abner’s assertion that his relationship with Rizpah had nothing to do with the throne, Abner not only asserted his power to do whatever he wanted, even in the Ishbaal’s house, but he also told Ishbaal that he was accountable to no one for how he used that power. It’s all about Abner.
Fortunately none of us have issues with power. Right? None of us are a part of systems where other human beings have lost powerful supporting figures from their lives. None of us would ever be tempted to use our huge power differential over those less powerful people in our little worlds, would we? Surely we do things that are right for our house, and everyone in our whole house, and we don’t just do the things that please our obsessive-compulsive characters, right? We’re more concerned with boys discovering ways to deal with the difficulties of life for themselves than we’re worried about maintaining control. Isn’t that so?
Well, if it is so, it is because we have chosen to make ourselves accountable for the power that is in our hands. Accountable to God, the source of all power. Accountable to our peers, who best understand the kinds of power we possess and who can best assess whether or not our use of power is empowering or oppressive. Accountable to our boys, who ought to be able to breathe, who ought to have enough power in their lives to set some boundaries for us, too.
Let’s use our power like Jesus – emptying ourselves of the impulse to use power for ourselves, and instead, using it for others. And let’s allow others to hold us accountable for that use of it. Then we will truly have justice and peace in our little world.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; the third, Absalom son of Maacah, daughter of King Talmai of Geshur; the fourth, Adonijah son of Haggith; the fifth, Shephatiah son of Abital; and the sixth, Ithream, of David's wife Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron.
While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah daughter of Aiah. And Ishbaal said to Abner, "Why have you gone in to my father's concubine?"
The words of Ishbaal made Abner very angry; he said, "Am I a dog's head for Judah? Today I keep showing loyalty to the house of your father Saul, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David; and yet you charge me now with a crime concerning this woman. So may God do to Abner and so may he add to it! For just what the Lord has sworn to David, that will I accomplish for him, to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul, and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beer-sheba."
And Ishbaal could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.
2 Samuel 3:1-11 - NRSV
After the death of Saul and the beginning of the civil war, the inevitable comes to pass: David’s house gains power while Saul’s house loses it. This transition is symbolized by the wives and sons of the two families. Each of David’s growing list of wives represent an alliance of power: political, military, or financial. Most of David’s wives produce an heir potential for the throne of Judah. Meanwhile, Saul’s enemies have killed many of Saul’s sons, and his friends have proven the survivors to be weaklings. Saul’s women are in enough jeopardy to seek alliances wherever they can. David’s growing power versus Saul’s diminishing strength.
What power remains in the house of Saul has been swallowed up by Abner. Since Abner’s power put Ishbaal into power, Ishbaal hasn’t complained about it. Not until now.
When kings died or experienced defeat, the new power figure would often take the wives and concubines of the old king into his harem. Thus the power that went with the alliances represented by these marriages went these women. For anybody else to sleep with the wife or concubine of a king is blatantly subversive. If Ishbaal is right, this sex is not about celebration or procreation; it is about power. Ishbaal accuses Abner, not just of sleeping with one of his father’s concubines, but of rebelling against Ishbaal to the extent of beginning to act like the king of Israel himself.
If we listen to Abner carefully, we never hear him deny his relationship with Rizpah. He is adamant, though, that this was done neither to claim the throne for himself, nor to give it to David. The relationship is personal, not political. Essentially, Abner says, ”You think that I’m giving the throne to David? I’ll show you what it looks like to give the throne to David!” And so he does it. Ishbaal is so weak that he can do absolutely nothing to stop the transfer of Israel’s loyalty from the house of Saul to David.
Abner’s moves are all about power. He moves to take power that others can’t keep or handle. He uses the power for his own loyalties and purposes with absolute disregard for the lives or happiness of his pawns. Then he refuses to be accountable to anyone for his use of that power. Even if we grant Abner’s assertion that his relationship with Rizpah had nothing to do with the throne, Abner not only asserted his power to do whatever he wanted, even in the Ishbaal’s house, but he also told Ishbaal that he was accountable to no one for how he used that power. It’s all about Abner.
Fortunately none of us have issues with power. Right? None of us are a part of systems where other human beings have lost powerful supporting figures from their lives. None of us would ever be tempted to use our huge power differential over those less powerful people in our little worlds, would we? Surely we do things that are right for our house, and everyone in our whole house, and we don’t just do the things that please our obsessive-compulsive characters, right? We’re more concerned with boys discovering ways to deal with the difficulties of life for themselves than we’re worried about maintaining control. Isn’t that so?
Well, if it is so, it is because we have chosen to make ourselves accountable for the power that is in our hands. Accountable to God, the source of all power. Accountable to our peers, who best understand the kinds of power we possess and who can best assess whether or not our use of power is empowering or oppressive. Accountable to our boys, who ought to be able to breathe, who ought to have enough power in their lives to set some boundaries for us, too.
Let’s use our power like Jesus – emptying ourselves of the impulse to use power for ourselves, and instead, using it for others. And let’s allow others to hold us accountable for that use of it. Then we will truly have justice and peace in our little world.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Whose way is blameless ...
All of us have heard Amy Grant's song "Thy Word." About five or six years ago, the Edmond senior high youth chorus sang this song at LTC, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy thinking about it:
“Thy Word”
Amy Grant, from Psalm 119
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
When I feel afraid,
And think I’ve lost my way.
Still, you’re there right beside me.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus be my guide,
And hold me to your side,
And I will love you to the end.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
And a light unto my path.
You’re the light unto my path.
These words are the expressions of an individual before their God, praising the power of their God’s word. Yet not all is well: “ … and yet, my heart forever is wandering.” A part of the human condition is the struggle with a distracted, an impatient, or even an inconstant heart. Yet how much of this problem is a problem of solitude, of individualism, of separation from the people of God?
In fact, this psalm begins with plural pronouns, not singular ones. Is it too much to think that the psalmist is contrasting community with individualism? Here is how the psalmist begins:
Happy are those whose way is blameless,
who walk in the law of the Lord.
Happy are those who keep his decrees,
who seek him with their whole heart,
who also do no wrong,
but walk in his ways.
Psalm 119:1-3 – NRSV
Together, with accountability to the truth,
our walk can be blameless.
Together, we can walk in the truth of the law of the Lord.
Together, we can be happy in keeping his decrees
and seeking him with our whole heart (as one body).
Together, we will naturally seek to avoid wrong and
walk instead in his ways.
That is why the voice of those young people singing together was so powerful. Together they were affirming their solidarity, their accountability, their purpose in seeking and serving the truth. May God help us to follow their faithful and virtuous example.
Grace and peace,
Ron
“Thy Word”
Amy Grant, from Psalm 119
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
When I feel afraid,
And think I’ve lost my way.
Still, you’re there right beside me.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus be my guide,
And hold me to your side,
And I will love you to the end.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
And a light unto my path.
You’re the light unto my path.
These words are the expressions of an individual before their God, praising the power of their God’s word. Yet not all is well: “ … and yet, my heart forever is wandering.” A part of the human condition is the struggle with a distracted, an impatient, or even an inconstant heart. Yet how much of this problem is a problem of solitude, of individualism, of separation from the people of God?
In fact, this psalm begins with plural pronouns, not singular ones. Is it too much to think that the psalmist is contrasting community with individualism? Here is how the psalmist begins:
Happy are those whose way is blameless,
who walk in the law of the Lord.
Happy are those who keep his decrees,
who seek him with their whole heart,
who also do no wrong,
but walk in his ways.
Psalm 119:1-3 – NRSV
Together, with accountability to the truth,
our walk can be blameless.
Together, we can walk in the truth of the law of the Lord.
Together, we can be happy in keeping his decrees
and seeking him with our whole heart (as one body).
Together, we will naturally seek to avoid wrong and
walk instead in his ways.
That is why the voice of those young people singing together was so powerful. Together they were affirming their solidarity, their accountability, their purpose in seeking and serving the truth. May God help us to follow their faithful and virtuous example.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Accountability: courage, loyalty, love
It is the end of a long week. Ben is in high school. I go into Ben’s room to talk with him about his day: how it went, what he did. He’s got some stories to tell, some about himself, some about friends. A recurring theme is his concern for one of his friends who is struggling with some issues. Being an intuitive and decisive person, I complete the necessary inferences, jump to the appropriate analytical conclusions, and using technical psychological terminology pronounce, “Your friend’s a jerk.”
I do not anticipate the direction, the velocity, or the force of Ben’s response. He comes right back at me. “He’s not a jerk, and you don’t have the right to say that.” I argue the point forcefully: “He’s a jerk.” Ben keeps coming back, “That’s not who he is.” I argue the point again. Ben comes back at me yet again.
When I finally see that he is ready to defend this guy to the death, I attempt to deflect the blow. “Well, he may not be a jerk, but he is acting like a jerk.”
Ben sees right through that. “That may be, but to label someone by their behavior when they’re not being themselves is wrong.”
Ben has me there. He knows that I don’t believe in labeling people. He knows that I don’t like cubby holing people. He knows that I believe that every human being is unique. Ben is arguing that his friend’s actions don’t really represent who he is. Ben is not just talking with me about his friend, he has been talking with his friend about this stuff, holding him accountable, calling him to be his true self. And he has the courage to hold his dad accountable, too. Even when his dad isn’t behaving in a way that is consistent with who his dad is.
Accountability is a key to being Christian community. It keeps us connected, it keeps us from wandering off, it keeps us in our place within the body of Christ, and unites our focus. But accountability requires courage, loyalty and love. Accountability requires the courage to be willing to take on even an authority figure: your dad, for example. Accountability takes loyalty, especially when the unacceptable behavior is directed at yourself, or someone you love. And it requires love, because if love doesn’t accompany the confrontation and redirection, then you wouldn’t call it Christian accountability.
We are called to help each other with accountability. Some of the “one another” passages that we know very well really have as much to do with accountability as anything:
John 13:34-35 - I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Romans 12:9-10 - Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:25 - So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another.
Colossians 3:9-10 - Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:13-16 - Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.
Hebrews 3:13-14 – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end.
Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. NRSV
May God give us the courage, loyalty, and love to hold each other accountable to being our true selves.
Blessings,
Ron
I do not anticipate the direction, the velocity, or the force of Ben’s response. He comes right back at me. “He’s not a jerk, and you don’t have the right to say that.” I argue the point forcefully: “He’s a jerk.” Ben keeps coming back, “That’s not who he is.” I argue the point again. Ben comes back at me yet again.
When I finally see that he is ready to defend this guy to the death, I attempt to deflect the blow. “Well, he may not be a jerk, but he is acting like a jerk.”
Ben sees right through that. “That may be, but to label someone by their behavior when they’re not being themselves is wrong.”
Ben has me there. He knows that I don’t believe in labeling people. He knows that I don’t like cubby holing people. He knows that I believe that every human being is unique. Ben is arguing that his friend’s actions don’t really represent who he is. Ben is not just talking with me about his friend, he has been talking with his friend about this stuff, holding him accountable, calling him to be his true self. And he has the courage to hold his dad accountable, too. Even when his dad isn’t behaving in a way that is consistent with who his dad is.
Accountability is a key to being Christian community. It keeps us connected, it keeps us from wandering off, it keeps us in our place within the body of Christ, and unites our focus. But accountability requires courage, loyalty and love. Accountability requires the courage to be willing to take on even an authority figure: your dad, for example. Accountability takes loyalty, especially when the unacceptable behavior is directed at yourself, or someone you love. And it requires love, because if love doesn’t accompany the confrontation and redirection, then you wouldn’t call it Christian accountability.
We are called to help each other with accountability. Some of the “one another” passages that we know very well really have as much to do with accountability as anything:
John 13:34-35 - I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Romans 12:9-10 - Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:25 - So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another.
Colossians 3:9-10 - Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:13-16 - Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.
Hebrews 3:13-14 – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end.
Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. NRSV
May God give us the courage, loyalty, and love to hold each other accountable to being our true selves.
Blessings,
Ron
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Will the real rebel please stand up?
Yesterday, we made this observation: “In a real way, to decide for yourself that you can make your own rules when the community has already established certain specific rules is to violate community.”
What do we do when someone in the community makes up their own rules? How do we respond when someone among the people of God appears to ignore the will of the other people?
Let’s consider the possibilities. Let’s assume that this person does not act this way out of ignorance, because that difficulty would be easily repaired with proper education.
Perhaps this member of the community has stumbled across a new situation, a case that looks like the standard rule fits, but it really doesn’t at all. It happens every day – one principle that normally works just fine comes into conflict with another principle. How do you choose? Which principle trumps the other? If these principles are in conflict (and sometimes they are), how do we resolve the principles of correctness, inclusiveness, justice, love, mercy, righteousness, simplicity, truth, and unity? I’ve put them in alphabetical order, but how ought we to prioritize them? Should the individual attempt this on their own, or wouldn’t it be more prudent to work this out in a community of discernment (Acts 15)? These situations also reveal the real need for communication on both sides. Individuals should consider discussing the issue with their peers not just for the sake of gathering wisdom, but also that other people might understand that these individuals see themselves to be working with something that they perceive to not be the typical case. On the other hand, God requires his people to go to one who has violated the norms of the community and hold them accountable if they discover that such a person has really violated those norms (Matthew 5, 18).
Perhaps the person who breaks the norm is serving as a prophet within the community. They believe that they are speaking God’s truth to God’s people. It may be that the community has drifted away from the story of God, and as it has drifted, it has begun to do things which are not consistent with the workings of the heavenly kingdom. It is not living out the kingdom story. In this case, the change of behavior shouldn’t be a well-kept secret, but should be a statement clear in its reasoning and its call to return to scripture and to the tradition of God’s people. It should be honest in its attempts to rediscover the truthful behavior of the people of God. This is a place where Jesus lived much of his life – yet we need to remember that we’re not Jesus, are we? This is not first century Judea, is it? The issues of establishing a counterculture in the midst of an imperial culture aren’t the same, are they?
Or, it could be that the incautious soul forgets or becomes lax about the choices that have been made among the people of God. What this person needs is accountability from his or her people. The people of God, or someone within that community, needs to recall this person to community behavior with a kingdom spirit. And, unless one has a rebellious spirit, such a one will submit to their accountability to the people of God. On one hand, such a person does not seem to carry the guilt that the rebellious might, yet frequently such a callous disregard for communal thinking is just as destructive to the well-being, the peace, the shalom, of the community.
On the other hand, the rebel spirit resists the call to submission and to community altogether. This rascal resents accountability. Perhaps they care more about their own needs and desires than the purposes of the people who make up the body of Christ. Or, perhaps they care more about getting their way than others. More than a few control freaks have a spirit destructive to community (isn’t this how we perceive some of the Pharisees to have been?). They might deny it, but they frequently behave as if they, and not Jesus, functioned as the head of the body.
This fourth possibility, that of rebellion against the people of God, leads us back to the question, “What do we do when someone in the community makes up their own rules?” Think about this, and we will discuss this difficult possibility more tomorrow.
In the meantime, live among God’s people by showing grace and living in peace,
Ron
What do we do when someone in the community makes up their own rules? How do we respond when someone among the people of God appears to ignore the will of the other people?
Let’s consider the possibilities. Let’s assume that this person does not act this way out of ignorance, because that difficulty would be easily repaired with proper education.
Perhaps this member of the community has stumbled across a new situation, a case that looks like the standard rule fits, but it really doesn’t at all. It happens every day – one principle that normally works just fine comes into conflict with another principle. How do you choose? Which principle trumps the other? If these principles are in conflict (and sometimes they are), how do we resolve the principles of correctness, inclusiveness, justice, love, mercy, righteousness, simplicity, truth, and unity? I’ve put them in alphabetical order, but how ought we to prioritize them? Should the individual attempt this on their own, or wouldn’t it be more prudent to work this out in a community of discernment (Acts 15)? These situations also reveal the real need for communication on both sides. Individuals should consider discussing the issue with their peers not just for the sake of gathering wisdom, but also that other people might understand that these individuals see themselves to be working with something that they perceive to not be the typical case. On the other hand, God requires his people to go to one who has violated the norms of the community and hold them accountable if they discover that such a person has really violated those norms (Matthew 5, 18).
Perhaps the person who breaks the norm is serving as a prophet within the community. They believe that they are speaking God’s truth to God’s people. It may be that the community has drifted away from the story of God, and as it has drifted, it has begun to do things which are not consistent with the workings of the heavenly kingdom. It is not living out the kingdom story. In this case, the change of behavior shouldn’t be a well-kept secret, but should be a statement clear in its reasoning and its call to return to scripture and to the tradition of God’s people. It should be honest in its attempts to rediscover the truthful behavior of the people of God. This is a place where Jesus lived much of his life – yet we need to remember that we’re not Jesus, are we? This is not first century Judea, is it? The issues of establishing a counterculture in the midst of an imperial culture aren’t the same, are they?
Or, it could be that the incautious soul forgets or becomes lax about the choices that have been made among the people of God. What this person needs is accountability from his or her people. The people of God, or someone within that community, needs to recall this person to community behavior with a kingdom spirit. And, unless one has a rebellious spirit, such a one will submit to their accountability to the people of God. On one hand, such a person does not seem to carry the guilt that the rebellious might, yet frequently such a callous disregard for communal thinking is just as destructive to the well-being, the peace, the shalom, of the community.
On the other hand, the rebel spirit resists the call to submission and to community altogether. This rascal resents accountability. Perhaps they care more about their own needs and desires than the purposes of the people who make up the body of Christ. Or, perhaps they care more about getting their way than others. More than a few control freaks have a spirit destructive to community (isn’t this how we perceive some of the Pharisees to have been?). They might deny it, but they frequently behave as if they, and not Jesus, functioned as the head of the body.
This fourth possibility, that of rebellion against the people of God, leads us back to the question, “What do we do when someone in the community makes up their own rules?” Think about this, and we will discuss this difficult possibility more tomorrow.
In the meantime, live among God’s people by showing grace and living in peace,
Ron
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