It is the end of a long week. Ben is in high school. I go into Ben’s room to talk with him about his day: how it went, what he did. He’s got some stories to tell, some about himself, some about friends. A recurring theme is his concern for one of his friends who is struggling with some issues. Being an intuitive and decisive person, I complete the necessary inferences, jump to the appropriate analytical conclusions, and using technical psychological terminology pronounce, “Your friend’s a jerk.”
I do not anticipate the direction, the velocity, or the force of Ben’s response. He comes right back at me. “He’s not a jerk, and you don’t have the right to say that.” I argue the point forcefully: “He’s a jerk.” Ben keeps coming back, “That’s not who he is.” I argue the point again. Ben comes back at me yet again.
When I finally see that he is ready to defend this guy to the death, I attempt to deflect the blow. “Well, he may not be a jerk, but he is acting like a jerk.”
Ben sees right through that. “That may be, but to label someone by their behavior when they’re not being themselves is wrong.”
Ben has me there. He knows that I don’t believe in labeling people. He knows that I don’t like cubby holing people. He knows that I believe that every human being is unique. Ben is arguing that his friend’s actions don’t really represent who he is. Ben is not just talking with me about his friend, he has been talking with his friend about this stuff, holding him accountable, calling him to be his true self. And he has the courage to hold his dad accountable, too. Even when his dad isn’t behaving in a way that is consistent with who his dad is.
Accountability is a key to being Christian community. It keeps us connected, it keeps us from wandering off, it keeps us in our place within the body of Christ, and unites our focus. But accountability requires courage, loyalty and love. Accountability requires the courage to be willing to take on even an authority figure: your dad, for example. Accountability takes loyalty, especially when the unacceptable behavior is directed at yourself, or someone you love. And it requires love, because if love doesn’t accompany the confrontation and redirection, then you wouldn’t call it Christian accountability.
We are called to help each other with accountability. Some of the “one another” passages that we know very well really have as much to do with accountability as anything:
John 13:34-35 - I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Romans 12:9-10 - Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:25 - So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another.
Colossians 3:9-10 - Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:13-16 - Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.
Hebrews 3:13-14 – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partners of Christ, if only we hold our first confidence firm to the end.
Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. NRSV
May God give us the courage, loyalty, and love to hold each other accountable to being our true selves.
Blessings,
Ron
Showing posts with label loyalty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loyalty. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Community is the trump card
In the classic short story, A Man without a Country, Edward Everett Hale writes about a young military officer, Philip Nolan, whom he places in America during the early 1800’s. This young man became a friend, and then associate of the infamous Aaron Burr. Over time, Nolan so revered Burr that he grew to value his relationship with this one man over all of his other relationships. Nolan assumed the easy cynicism toward the state that was, to him, the sign of the knowing insider. Consequently, Nolan became involved in activities that led to his eventual arrest for treason, and trial alongside Burr.
When confronted by the judge, Nolan’s cynicism reaches its highest point. Nolan curses the United States, and then swears an oath: “I wish I may never hear of the United States again.” The judge, instead of sentencing Nolan to death, gives him a sentence of exile. Nolan is never to see nor to hear of his country again. The judge gives Nolan into the keeping of the US Navy, and charges it with keeping Nolan onboard naval warships for the remainder of his life. The Navy carries out its orders with its usual thoroughness and efficiency; Nolan never sets his foot on land in the United States again. When a ship heads back toward a home port, Nolan is transferred to another ship going the opposite direction. Naval officers even censor the newspapers and magazines Nolan reads to remove any mention of his homeland.
After decades of this life at sea, a changed Nolan finally approaches his death. A young officer recounts his conversation with Nolan as he escorts him to another ship:
"For your country, boy," and the words rattled in his throat, "and for that flag," and he pointed to the ship, "never dream a dream but of serving her as she bids you, though the service carry you through a thousand hells. No matter what happens to you, no matter who flatters you or abuses you, never look at another flag, never let a night pass but you pray God to bless that flag. Remember, boy, that behind all these men..., behind officers and government, and people even, there is the Country Herself, your Country, and that you belong to her as you belong to your own mother. Stand by her, boy, as you would stand by your mother...!" I was frightened to death by his calm, hard passion; but I blundered out that I would, by all that was holy, and that I had never thought of doing anything else. He hardly seemed to hear me; but he did, almost in a whisper, say, "Oh, if anybody had said so to me when I was your age!"
Hale’s message about his nation, his community, is powerful. Perhaps it might be even more powerful if we remember that Hale published this story in the Atlantic Monthly in 1863. Hale wrote the story as a call for those in South to reconsider what he considered a desertion of the Union during the Civil War (otherwise known as the War of Northern Aggression).
I am not choosing sides here. I hope that everyone would agree with me that slavery is wrong, and that the oppression of human beings to maintain structures of power and wealth is totally unacceptable. It is certainly also true that the North proved itself to be no more capable of a steward of power and wealth when the war was over, as they systematically punished and oppressed their surviving brothers and sisters in the South. Can we not learn something from this horrible breach in community? Doesn’t our current world confront issues just as important as slavery? And isn’t our citizenship in the church tested by, yet superior to, our citizenship in our country?
Doesn’t this whole discussion speak to the Christian about the nature of community and the choices we make to go or to stay, to exclude or include, within the community? Doesn’t wisdom require that the status quo is changed when it does not produce truth, beauty, or the good? Doesn’t it require that community is maintained, even when that community makes decisions which don’t necessarily align with our personal choices or loyalties? Doesn’t love and faithfulness toward the community require us to work out the tensions in these statements with one another? The writer of Proverbs calls us to wisdom here:
My child, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments;
for length of days and years of life
and abundant welfare they will give you.
Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
in the sight of God and of people.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be a healing for your flesh
and a refreshment for your body.
Proverbs 3:1-8 - NRSV
Community has teaching to maintain proper boundaries. For spiritual Israel, those boundaries are described by Torah. There are going to be times when keeping Torah is inconvenient. There are times when Torah will requires exclusion, but usually it requires the harder task of inclusion. Torah is meant more to exclude our foolish behavior toward one another than to exclude one another. This ought to remind us that, no matter the time in which we live, there are always those people and events who will test our loyalties to our community. This has happened, and will happen within the church. This has happened, and will happen within the Westview community.
Especially in our youth, others test our loyalties to our community. There is an element in the church and within ministry that is “wise in its own eyes.” It displays a certain cynicism toward the community and status quo that is meant to portray knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Instead this behavior communicates disillusionment, disloyalty, and dishonor. If unchecked, these symptoms will precede spiritual death. This temptation to cynicism will seek out the young men at Westview and it will search out the young adults at Westview. On the other hand, those of us who are older are more tempted to sacrifice relationships to maintain the status quo. Both are unwise and evil. May we truly be wise in a godly way, and trust in the Lord with all of our heart. He will surely refresh our body within the body of Christ when we are loyal and faithful both to the community and members of the community as God is faithful and loyal to both.
Grace and peace among us,
Ron
When confronted by the judge, Nolan’s cynicism reaches its highest point. Nolan curses the United States, and then swears an oath: “I wish I may never hear of the United States again.” The judge, instead of sentencing Nolan to death, gives him a sentence of exile. Nolan is never to see nor to hear of his country again. The judge gives Nolan into the keeping of the US Navy, and charges it with keeping Nolan onboard naval warships for the remainder of his life. The Navy carries out its orders with its usual thoroughness and efficiency; Nolan never sets his foot on land in the United States again. When a ship heads back toward a home port, Nolan is transferred to another ship going the opposite direction. Naval officers even censor the newspapers and magazines Nolan reads to remove any mention of his homeland.
After decades of this life at sea, a changed Nolan finally approaches his death. A young officer recounts his conversation with Nolan as he escorts him to another ship:
"For your country, boy," and the words rattled in his throat, "and for that flag," and he pointed to the ship, "never dream a dream but of serving her as she bids you, though the service carry you through a thousand hells. No matter what happens to you, no matter who flatters you or abuses you, never look at another flag, never let a night pass but you pray God to bless that flag. Remember, boy, that behind all these men..., behind officers and government, and people even, there is the Country Herself, your Country, and that you belong to her as you belong to your own mother. Stand by her, boy, as you would stand by your mother...!" I was frightened to death by his calm, hard passion; but I blundered out that I would, by all that was holy, and that I had never thought of doing anything else. He hardly seemed to hear me; but he did, almost in a whisper, say, "Oh, if anybody had said so to me when I was your age!"
Hale’s message about his nation, his community, is powerful. Perhaps it might be even more powerful if we remember that Hale published this story in the Atlantic Monthly in 1863. Hale wrote the story as a call for those in South to reconsider what he considered a desertion of the Union during the Civil War (otherwise known as the War of Northern Aggression).
I am not choosing sides here. I hope that everyone would agree with me that slavery is wrong, and that the oppression of human beings to maintain structures of power and wealth is totally unacceptable. It is certainly also true that the North proved itself to be no more capable of a steward of power and wealth when the war was over, as they systematically punished and oppressed their surviving brothers and sisters in the South. Can we not learn something from this horrible breach in community? Doesn’t our current world confront issues just as important as slavery? And isn’t our citizenship in the church tested by, yet superior to, our citizenship in our country?
Doesn’t this whole discussion speak to the Christian about the nature of community and the choices we make to go or to stay, to exclude or include, within the community? Doesn’t wisdom require that the status quo is changed when it does not produce truth, beauty, or the good? Doesn’t it require that community is maintained, even when that community makes decisions which don’t necessarily align with our personal choices or loyalties? Doesn’t love and faithfulness toward the community require us to work out the tensions in these statements with one another? The writer of Proverbs calls us to wisdom here:
My child, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments;
for length of days and years of life
and abundant welfare they will give you.
Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
in the sight of God and of people.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be a healing for your flesh
and a refreshment for your body.
Proverbs 3:1-8 - NRSV
Community has teaching to maintain proper boundaries. For spiritual Israel, those boundaries are described by Torah. There are going to be times when keeping Torah is inconvenient. There are times when Torah will requires exclusion, but usually it requires the harder task of inclusion. Torah is meant more to exclude our foolish behavior toward one another than to exclude one another. This ought to remind us that, no matter the time in which we live, there are always those people and events who will test our loyalties to our community. This has happened, and will happen within the church. This has happened, and will happen within the Westview community.
Especially in our youth, others test our loyalties to our community. There is an element in the church and within ministry that is “wise in its own eyes.” It displays a certain cynicism toward the community and status quo that is meant to portray knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Instead this behavior communicates disillusionment, disloyalty, and dishonor. If unchecked, these symptoms will precede spiritual death. This temptation to cynicism will seek out the young men at Westview and it will search out the young adults at Westview. On the other hand, those of us who are older are more tempted to sacrifice relationships to maintain the status quo. Both are unwise and evil. May we truly be wise in a godly way, and trust in the Lord with all of our heart. He will surely refresh our body within the body of Christ when we are loyal and faithful both to the community and members of the community as God is faithful and loyal to both.
Grace and peace among us,
Ron
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Lines and circles
I wonder if we appreciate the difficulty of Joshua's task of leadership the day that Moses didn't come down from the mountain (Josh 1). The transition of leadership from one person to another is always fraught with difficulty. That change of person and power is vastly complicated when the new leader follows a leader that is good at the job, and nearly impossible when the previous leader has been the object of reverence and respect.
The initial reflex of leaders in such cases is to circle the wagons until the lines of authority become clear. Surely someone in Joshua's inner circle counseled him, "Allow people to get used to your voice and your style." But his choice made his leadership task that much more difficult; he followed God's instructions and made a bee line for the promised land. Perhaps this passionately brave act in the face of coolly cautious logic is why God encouraged Joshua to "be strong and courageous."
Oh, it's not like Joshua didn't check to see if anyone was following. He immediately queried the 2 1/2 tribes that were getting land on the east side of the river, and they reassured him: "Don't worry, Joshua, we'll toe the line. Be strong and courageous!" What made such remarkable loyalty possible? What assured the people that they could faithfully follow Joshua?
Their leader may have changed, but their God had not. As they lined up to march to the Jordan (Josh 3), the ark of the covenant, the very symbol of God's presence, moved one half of a mile in front of the nearest tribe. A full seven minutes ahead of the first soldier (I rather suspect that God is actually much farther ahead of his people than that). And then, in the middle of the river and on the other side, they left memorials of 12 stones. Some scholars believe that the Israelites did not stack these stones, but placed them in a circle (Gilgal can mean circular). Each tribe equal; each tribe a part, all of the tribes united. Whenever God leads, whether through transition, trouble, or temptation, the godly leader is assured of success (at least in God's terms). In this case, God led his people through a river swollen to its annual flood stage. Through battles with a stronger and more numerous foe. Even through their own failings and sin.
Both a godly leader and his people can be strong and courageous when they know that their true loyalties are to a God who is loyalty personified. If my leader is loyal to God, I can loyally follow. If my people are united, and loyal to God, I can lead as God would have me and be assured that they will follow. What makes a transition of leadership like the one from Moses to Joshua survivable? Loyalty and unity.
Grace and peace,
Ron
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