Today, a story with a moral – a story to go with Josh’s story.
Growing up in Duncan, my family and I lived in a house with two large paned windows, stretching from nearly floor to nearly ceiling, in both the front and back of the house. The front window had heavy draperies to help keep out the heat from the westerly sun in the summer. Mom liked to keep the back window open because she liked the view.
Dad, though, had eyes that were sensitive to light and wanted a little relief from the glaring sunlight. Being a thinking man, and not one given to debate, one spring day he drove to Ligon’s Nursery and chose a tree to plant in front of the window. He came home with a seedling (he was too frugal to buy a larger specimen), carefully dug a hole, and planted his little tree. About 25 feet out, in the precise center line of the window, the little tree stood in this vast expanse of grass.
Now, Dad was not given to expend too much effort or expense in landscaping; someone might think of watering the tree occasionally, but no one made a habit of it. Taking care of the yard not Dad’s job; it was the job of my younger brother Bill, and myself. We would take turns mowing. As teenagers, neither one of us was particularly fond of the job as the yard was large, sloped, and terraced. More than once Dad and Bill got into it about the yard, and when they did, Bill would do exactly what he was told: mow the whole yard. In Bill’s mind, this included the tree. Nothing higher than 2 inches was left standing. There are times when one must use precise language, and there are times when one must exercise common sense. Both parties failed.
Yet when Bill entered high school, the tree began to make progress. In those winters, though, that part of the yard looked like a snowman had lost one of his arms while somehow escaping with the other (a fugitive snowman may find this information helpful).
One spring I was laying on my bed reading when I noticed that the light coming in through the window had turned a very particular shade of green. In the same moment, I heard the swelling sound of an approaching freight train. Having grown up in Duncan, Oklahoma, two facts came to mind: (1) there is no 4:00 train that runs through Duncan; and (2) tornados often sound like trains. By the time that I got to the center of the house (moving in the general direction of the bomb shelter – which is another story altogether), I looked out the back window and saw that the entire back fence was missing. So was every leaf on Dad’s tree.
After that, college and married life took me away from Duncan and the tree much of the time. Return visits were designed to catch up with family, not to keep track of Dad’s landscaping efforts. When Ann and I went home to visit one weekend though, I looked out the rear window and was startled. There was green light filtering in through the window. The green was close to, but not exactly the same shade of green that the tornado had brought. This gentle green light was filtering through the branches of a sturdy, mature walnut tree standing outside the window. I had to see. I went outside to get a better look. There, perfectly centered on the rear window of the house was this perfectly symmetrical walnut tree. Its dark green canopy was like a huge, but perfect, umbrella shading the back window of the house. The trunk was scarred but sturdy, something like the mast of a ship. Underneath the tree was a flat roof of limbs about seven feet off the ground, just enough for Dad (6’5”) to walk beneath the tree in comfort. It was one of the most handsome trees I have ever seen.
How many lessons can this tale teach us?
It seems obvious to observe that God is patient, and given enough time, he will bring about his purpose, despite the neglect of the responsible, the sabotage of an adversary, or the interference of nature itself (why do we call those acts of God?). A corollary to this observation is to note that, if we imitate God as we ought, similar patience on our part may bring similar success to our plans. Eventually, success. When we think about how long we must be patient, I think it is important to ask: If we find a tree to be beautiful and complex, just how beautiful and complex are human beings? How long does it take to change us?
A less obvious observation is to note the resilience of life. Despite neglect, sabotage, and storm, this tree sought to become what God intended for it to become. No matter what. This was not some victim tree, puking excuses to the world for its slowness, deficiencies, and failure. This was not a sarcastic tree, spewing bitterness at every good, or different, or taller tree so as to justify its miserable history and failed purpose. This was a victorious tree, scarred by its experience, but all the more beautiful for the story that it had to tell. With trees and people, after all, the beauty of the story is not in the first, second, or third act; the truth and the power is in how the tale ends.
The righteous flourish like the palm tree,
and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
They are planted in the house of the Lord;
they flourish in the courts of our God.
In old age they still produce fruit;
they are always green and full of sap,
showing that the Lord is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.
Psalm 92:12-15 – NRSV
Grace and peace,
Ron
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Monday, October 26, 2009
Carrying their sheaves ...
When I was very young, I was fascinated with flowers. We didn’t have many plants around our house at the time, mainly some holly bushes and some honeysuckle. One day, though, someone gave me some flower bulbs. I took them out into the front yard, and found a place near the holly bushes where I could plant them. I carefully placed them in their holes, patted down the dirt, and watered them.
The next day I went out to look for signs of life. I had seen pictures of plants placed alongside a glass wall, and knew that the green stem could be reaching for the surface even before I could see it. I decided to be patient a while longer.
Two days later I became worried. No flowers. No green. No bumps. No nothing. I decided more water would be good and so I watered the ground, but still, this was not what I expected.
A week later I was beyond worried. This was not the way that things were supposed to be. I started poking around the places where I had planted the bulbs looking for green. No joy. The next day, poking was not enough. I started digging around the bulbs. Sure enough, nothing had happened yet. The bulbs never did grow because I never would just leave them alone.
Which, believe it or not, connects with today’s text:
Psalm 126
When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
The people of Israel are in the “in-between” time. They have seen the dream, and it has given them joy, but they have yet to arrive at the dream. They have sown the seeds of hope, and watered the earth with their tears and suffering. Still, they have nothing to show for it. Not yet.
We are so often in the same place with the boys with whom we work. We can see a dream for their lives. We can almost taste it. We have yet to arrive at that dream, so we water it with our tears and the suffering that comes from walking alongside these young men. If we can resist the temptation of poking around too much, of expecting too much too soon, then we will have the opportunity for our reward: an amazing harvest. We can, with these young men, “come home with shouts of joy.”
Perhaps if we want to get to the harvest, it will do us good to remember the big picture. It is not the condition of the (flower)bed today that matters. What counts is the final outcome, the big dream for life itself. We need to patiently, prayerfully work toward that day and not undermine the harvest with our impatience. It might also be good to remember who is really doing the work: “The LORD has done great things for us, and we rejoiced.”
Grace and peace,
Ron
The next day I went out to look for signs of life. I had seen pictures of plants placed alongside a glass wall, and knew that the green stem could be reaching for the surface even before I could see it. I decided to be patient a while longer.
Two days later I became worried. No flowers. No green. No bumps. No nothing. I decided more water would be good and so I watered the ground, but still, this was not what I expected.
A week later I was beyond worried. This was not the way that things were supposed to be. I started poking around the places where I had planted the bulbs looking for green. No joy. The next day, poking was not enough. I started digging around the bulbs. Sure enough, nothing had happened yet. The bulbs never did grow because I never would just leave them alone.
Which, believe it or not, connects with today’s text:
Psalm 126
When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
The people of Israel are in the “in-between” time. They have seen the dream, and it has given them joy, but they have yet to arrive at the dream. They have sown the seeds of hope, and watered the earth with their tears and suffering. Still, they have nothing to show for it. Not yet.
We are so often in the same place with the boys with whom we work. We can see a dream for their lives. We can almost taste it. We have yet to arrive at that dream, so we water it with our tears and the suffering that comes from walking alongside these young men. If we can resist the temptation of poking around too much, of expecting too much too soon, then we will have the opportunity for our reward: an amazing harvest. We can, with these young men, “come home with shouts of joy.”
Perhaps if we want to get to the harvest, it will do us good to remember the big picture. It is not the condition of the (flower)bed today that matters. What counts is the final outcome, the big dream for life itself. We need to patiently, prayerfully work toward that day and not undermine the harvest with our impatience. It might also be good to remember who is really doing the work: “The LORD has done great things for us, and we rejoiced.”
Grace and peace,
Ron
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Bearing up under ...
Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
(1 Pet. 2:18-25, NIV)
It doesn't get much more depressing than being a slave. Hard manual labor, second-class status, not much opportunity for career advancement, and consistent abuse. Slaves would have to endure just and unjust suffering, and most people didn't think there was any difference with regard to slaves. A slave was someone to whom it was impossible to do an injustice.
A slave has no choice but to endure, speaking practically. The slave cannot prevent him or herself from suffering abuse. The slave can, however, control the occasion for their suffering, and they can control how they bear that suffering. There is a big difference between suffering for doing evil and suffering for doing good, according to Peter. Suffering for doing good is the true grace of God.
In fact, Jesus suffered unjustly as God's servant. He did nothing wrong, and he didn't even retaliate when he was abused (Notice that the second and third phrases describing Jesus' passion both relate to his refusal to respond to the abuse of power with violence - he did not retaliate to the insults, and he made no threats when he suffered). Here's the point - Jesus is an example for us because he entrusted any vengeance and vindication to God, rather than exacting it himself.
How quick we are to strike back, even if only with words. But again a writer of the New Testament, this one addressing slaves, urges that his readers endure hardship and affliction, burnout and abuse. In fact, Peter explains that we can do just that if we follow Jesus' footsteps. We don't have to keep fighting against others to hang on, we only have to hold fast to "him who judges justly."
This address is different than the others we have contemplated recently, though, because it calls people to endure who do not have the option of letting go. A slave has to hang on, as opposed to the Christians addressed in Hebrews who could turn away from their faith and return to normal. A slave can't give up being a slave. Still, the manner in which slaves endure matters, and the reason for their suffering also matters. Slaves should suffer for doing good, like the suffering servant Jesus did. Slaves should also endure suffering patiently, just as Jesus did.
Here is our prayer this morning:
May Jesus Christ, the King of glory, help us to make the right use of all the suffering that comes to us and to offer him the incense of a patient and trustful heart; for his name's sake. Amen.
Peace,
Greg and Tiffany
(1 Pet. 2:18-25, NIV)
It doesn't get much more depressing than being a slave. Hard manual labor, second-class status, not much opportunity for career advancement, and consistent abuse. Slaves would have to endure just and unjust suffering, and most people didn't think there was any difference with regard to slaves. A slave was someone to whom it was impossible to do an injustice.
A slave has no choice but to endure, speaking practically. The slave cannot prevent him or herself from suffering abuse. The slave can, however, control the occasion for their suffering, and they can control how they bear that suffering. There is a big difference between suffering for doing evil and suffering for doing good, according to Peter. Suffering for doing good is the true grace of God.
In fact, Jesus suffered unjustly as God's servant. He did nothing wrong, and he didn't even retaliate when he was abused (Notice that the second and third phrases describing Jesus' passion both relate to his refusal to respond to the abuse of power with violence - he did not retaliate to the insults, and he made no threats when he suffered). Here's the point - Jesus is an example for us because he entrusted any vengeance and vindication to God, rather than exacting it himself.
How quick we are to strike back, even if only with words. But again a writer of the New Testament, this one addressing slaves, urges that his readers endure hardship and affliction, burnout and abuse. In fact, Peter explains that we can do just that if we follow Jesus' footsteps. We don't have to keep fighting against others to hang on, we only have to hold fast to "him who judges justly."
This address is different than the others we have contemplated recently, though, because it calls people to endure who do not have the option of letting go. A slave has to hang on, as opposed to the Christians addressed in Hebrews who could turn away from their faith and return to normal. A slave can't give up being a slave. Still, the manner in which slaves endure matters, and the reason for their suffering also matters. Slaves should suffer for doing good, like the suffering servant Jesus did. Slaves should also endure suffering patiently, just as Jesus did.
Here is our prayer this morning:
May Jesus Christ, the King of glory, help us to make the right use of all the suffering that comes to us and to offer him the incense of a patient and trustful heart; for his name's sake. Amen.
Peace,
Greg and Tiffany
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Trust ... and enjoy security ...
This Saturday we will consider a passage of scripture, as is our usual habit. In the context of this week's devotionals, meditate on this portion of Psalm 37:
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
so you will live in the land, and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will make your vindication shine like the light,
and the justice of your cause like the noonday.
Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him;
do not fret over those who prosper in their way,
over those who carry out evil devices.
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath.
Do not fret — it leads only to evil.
For the wicked shall be cut off,
but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.
Yet a little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look diligently for their place, they will not be there.
But the meek shall inherit the land,
and delight themselves in abundant prosperity.
Psalm 37:3-11 - NRSV
So what is the source of our security?
Trusting in the Lord.
Blessings,
Ron
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Frustrated purposes ...
Today, a prayer and four proverbs for our devotional. Because we minister in a world that is so very different than our ideal, we are particularly inclined to feel upset at the discord of living in two worlds. This can be both stress and anger producing, to say the least. Today’s prayer is offered for those who might struggle with anger, whether righteous or otherwise. One warning: don’t be too quick to deny that you struggle with anger; such denial can be dangerous.
O Lord, today we seek your help,
Your wisdom, your direction.
Your Spirit tells you of our moanings,
Of the mutterings of our troubled hearts;
And of the snarlings of our often angry,
Too-often angry spirits.
You know, All-knowing One, every place that
This world, as we have shaped it, falls short
Of our well-intended designs and expectations.
You know, Great Heart, every hurt,
Every bruise, and disappointment
Inflicted by a world too pointed, too hard,
Too random, too resistant, or too rowdy
For our simple, though well-intended, schemes,
Our hard-headed thinking,
And inadequate assumptions.
O how, Great Creator, how do you cope
With a world that has become
So very unlike the world you shaped,
The world that you envisioned?
How, Holy God, do you hold back
When the reality we create with our action
Is so out of time with your creation,
Is so out of tune with your holy word?
How, Righteous God, do you hold back
Your righteous wrath, when human unrighteousness
Invokes it by injustice, intolerance, and even inhumanity?
We do not hold back, you well know,
When we are crossed, our purposes frustrated.
Heaven help the spouse who has another point of view;
God protect the friend who has a second opinion;
Spirit save and soothe the child who exercises
Freedom of choice against our adamant will;
For we show no mercy, know no grace.
We presume to know your righteous wrath,
And we are swift to improve upon the speed of it.
We are quick to wield your terrible, swift sword;
We cry, “Peace, peace!” while we still swing it.
We cry, “Peace, peace!” yet we refuse to swallow peace:
A drink too bitter for those drunk on the sweet wine of revenge,
High on the potent amphetamines of anger.
No wonder we are not ourselves.
How great must your love be to see
The person that we might be,
The human that you intended for us to be
And still receive the person that we
Have limited ourselves to be.
Heal our emotions, O God;
Help them to be to us that
Which you intended for them to be.
May we neither deny anger’s power,
Nor yield control to that power.
So cultivate in us the virtues of love,
Peacefulness, patience, and understanding
That our anger shadows yours:
Slow to appear, quick to yield to love.
Shape our love to be like your love,
Empower our patience to mirror yours,
And teach us, Father, to be quick and sure
To set aside our wrath in preference for
Your forgiveness, your mercy, and your grace,
In hopes that we might receive from you
Those very great and saving gifts.
May we be more like Jesus,
As we pray in his name.
Amen.
Think on these proverbs through the course of your day:
Proverbs 14:29 - Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding,
but one who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Proverbs 15:18 - Those who are hot-tempered stir up strife,
but those who are slow to anger calm contention.
Proverbs 16:32 - One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.
Proverbs 19:11 - Those with good sense are slow to anger,
and it is their glory to overlook an offense.
NRSV
Grace, and peace,
Ron
O Lord, today we seek your help,
Your wisdom, your direction.
Your Spirit tells you of our moanings,
Of the mutterings of our troubled hearts;
And of the snarlings of our often angry,
Too-often angry spirits.
You know, All-knowing One, every place that
This world, as we have shaped it, falls short
Of our well-intended designs and expectations.
You know, Great Heart, every hurt,
Every bruise, and disappointment
Inflicted by a world too pointed, too hard,
Too random, too resistant, or too rowdy
For our simple, though well-intended, schemes,
Our hard-headed thinking,
And inadequate assumptions.
O how, Great Creator, how do you cope
With a world that has become
So very unlike the world you shaped,
The world that you envisioned?
How, Holy God, do you hold back
When the reality we create with our action
Is so out of time with your creation,
Is so out of tune with your holy word?
How, Righteous God, do you hold back
Your righteous wrath, when human unrighteousness
Invokes it by injustice, intolerance, and even inhumanity?
We do not hold back, you well know,
When we are crossed, our purposes frustrated.
Heaven help the spouse who has another point of view;
God protect the friend who has a second opinion;
Spirit save and soothe the child who exercises
Freedom of choice against our adamant will;
For we show no mercy, know no grace.
We presume to know your righteous wrath,
And we are swift to improve upon the speed of it.
We are quick to wield your terrible, swift sword;
We cry, “Peace, peace!” while we still swing it.
We cry, “Peace, peace!” yet we refuse to swallow peace:
A drink too bitter for those drunk on the sweet wine of revenge,
High on the potent amphetamines of anger.
No wonder we are not ourselves.
How great must your love be to see
The person that we might be,
The human that you intended for us to be
And still receive the person that we
Have limited ourselves to be.
Heal our emotions, O God;
Help them to be to us that
Which you intended for them to be.
May we neither deny anger’s power,
Nor yield control to that power.
So cultivate in us the virtues of love,
Peacefulness, patience, and understanding
That our anger shadows yours:
Slow to appear, quick to yield to love.
Shape our love to be like your love,
Empower our patience to mirror yours,
And teach us, Father, to be quick and sure
To set aside our wrath in preference for
Your forgiveness, your mercy, and your grace,
In hopes that we might receive from you
Those very great and saving gifts.
May we be more like Jesus,
As we pray in his name.
Amen.
Think on these proverbs through the course of your day:
Proverbs 14:29 - Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding,
but one who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Proverbs 15:18 - Those who are hot-tempered stir up strife,
but those who are slow to anger calm contention.
Proverbs 16:32 - One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.
Proverbs 19:11 - Those with good sense are slow to anger,
and it is their glory to overlook an offense.
NRSV
Grace, and peace,
Ron
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Patience: warding off great disaster ...
Today, Lauren has decided to give her dad a break and write the devotional thought for him. I think that you will find the change of perspective and pace refreshing:
There is a Chinese proverb---well, there’s pretty much a Chinese proverb for everything, but this one in particular states that “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” As I do with most proverbs, I nodded at it and said, “Oh yes … that’s very wise,” and carefully placed it in the to-be-referenced-for-a-phenomenal-paper file instead of actually applying it to my own life.
Then I became a high school English teacher.
I think that pretty-much sums it up, but for those of you who may not experienced this particular type of eye-awakening event, I’ll explain. One thing that being a teacher will do to you is teach you how to frantically fly back to all those bits of wisdom you heard in the past and somehow salvage them and make them into something that enables you to survive the day without being eaten alive … very slowly … with a spoon.
I recalled this particular Chinese proverb one day when a particular high school junior did a particularly annoying thing that set me off in the particular way that type of action always has. This wonderful student---let’s affectionately call him “Johnny”---was the 19th student in that class period to ask me what the homework assignment was. For the third time. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to most people---all of you NORMAL people out there are already thinking I’m crazy, and that’s okay---but for poor, poor, me, it was what we fondly refer to as “the last straw.” It was toward the end of the semester. It was a Thursday. It was the final class period of the day. It was in the final 15 minutes of the block. It was a rainy day. I hadn’t gotten much sleep. My coffee was cold. My lesson was rushed. You name it: I’m sure it happened that day. In other words, if you remember the book about the “terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad day,” you could easily have filled in the Alexander’s with “Mrs. Barker” and had most of the details just about right.
Well, when sweet, earnest-to-learn Johnny asked me for the umpteenth time about the homework assignment, I snapped like a finely-aged twig. I looked at Johnny like he had deliberately set out to be the bane of my existence and sharpened my tongue enough to spit out, “HAVEN’T YOU HEARD ANYTHING I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS!!!!” You can imagine the shocked look that washed across innocent Johnny’s face when my words collided with his comprehension. Now imagine MY surprise when Johnny, who throughout the year may not have been as wonderful, sweet, earnest-to-learn, or innocent as I have let on, contritely mumbled, “I’m very sorry---I’ve had a bad sinus infection that has been affecting my hearing; I didn’t mean any disrespect.” Ouch. “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster,” huh? Well, it may not have been a GREAT disaster, but it could’ve been one. With that brief moment of disrespect and lack of self-control, what kind of example did I set for Johnny? For the rest of the class? And though I meant well (to teach students responsibility), I approached it in a very un-Christian way.
It all comes down to having patience. Patience is empowerment. It empowers you to really reflect on your intentions and find a way to see them through. It calls you to rise above yourself and be what that other person needs. Waiting a minute longer than you think you can. Stilling your lips for a fraction longer. Taking a breath before taking action. It is in the small delays that the world is saved, one relationship at a time. How’s that for a Chinese proverb? Maybe I should write the fortune cookie company in Detroit…
Blessings,
Lauren Allison Barker
There is a Chinese proverb---well, there’s pretty much a Chinese proverb for everything, but this one in particular states that “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” As I do with most proverbs, I nodded at it and said, “Oh yes … that’s very wise,” and carefully placed it in the to-be-referenced-for-a-phenomenal-paper file instead of actually applying it to my own life.
Then I became a high school English teacher.
I think that pretty-much sums it up, but for those of you who may not experienced this particular type of eye-awakening event, I’ll explain. One thing that being a teacher will do to you is teach you how to frantically fly back to all those bits of wisdom you heard in the past and somehow salvage them and make them into something that enables you to survive the day without being eaten alive … very slowly … with a spoon.
I recalled this particular Chinese proverb one day when a particular high school junior did a particularly annoying thing that set me off in the particular way that type of action always has. This wonderful student---let’s affectionately call him “Johnny”---was the 19th student in that class period to ask me what the homework assignment was. For the third time. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to most people---all of you NORMAL people out there are already thinking I’m crazy, and that’s okay---but for poor, poor, me, it was what we fondly refer to as “the last straw.” It was toward the end of the semester. It was a Thursday. It was the final class period of the day. It was in the final 15 minutes of the block. It was a rainy day. I hadn’t gotten much sleep. My coffee was cold. My lesson was rushed. You name it: I’m sure it happened that day. In other words, if you remember the book about the “terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad day,” you could easily have filled in the Alexander’s with “Mrs. Barker” and had most of the details just about right.
Well, when sweet, earnest-to-learn Johnny asked me for the umpteenth time about the homework assignment, I snapped like a finely-aged twig. I looked at Johnny like he had deliberately set out to be the bane of my existence and sharpened my tongue enough to spit out, “HAVEN’T YOU HEARD ANYTHING I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS!!!!” You can imagine the shocked look that washed across innocent Johnny’s face when my words collided with his comprehension. Now imagine MY surprise when Johnny, who throughout the year may not have been as wonderful, sweet, earnest-to-learn, or innocent as I have let on, contritely mumbled, “I’m very sorry---I’ve had a bad sinus infection that has been affecting my hearing; I didn’t mean any disrespect.” Ouch. “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster,” huh? Well, it may not have been a GREAT disaster, but it could’ve been one. With that brief moment of disrespect and lack of self-control, what kind of example did I set for Johnny? For the rest of the class? And though I meant well (to teach students responsibility), I approached it in a very un-Christian way.
It all comes down to having patience. Patience is empowerment. It empowers you to really reflect on your intentions and find a way to see them through. It calls you to rise above yourself and be what that other person needs. Waiting a minute longer than you think you can. Stilling your lips for a fraction longer. Taking a breath before taking action. It is in the small delays that the world is saved, one relationship at a time. How’s that for a Chinese proverb? Maybe I should write the fortune cookie company in Detroit…
Blessings,
Lauren Allison Barker
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Creating opportunities for virtue
Patience. Kindness. Compassion. Gentleness.
These are words that I heard quite a lot when I was in the 8th grade.
Well, maybe not.
But at least that's how all of my friends at school treated me.
Well, maybe not.
But at least that's how all of my brothers and sisters in the youth group treated me.
Well, maybe not.
None of these things happened. My experience with patience, kindness, compassion, and gentleness came mainly from the presence of some special adults in my life: Phyllis Morgan, Barbara Ellis, Janna Smith, Lucille O’Dell, and Gusta Hoffman, may they glorify God forever.
I believe that we ought to be particularly careful to model these virtues for our boys as school starts this year. That does not mean that we do not need to set boundaries and maintain them, but that there are certain ways to do that which are consistent with these virtues, and others that are not.
I believe that we need to teach these virtues,
but that teaching them is not enough.
I believe that we, as good mentors, ought to illustrate these virtues,
but that is not enough.
I believe that we, as God's children, ought to demonstrate these virtues,
but that is not enough.
I believe that we ought to try to catch them demonstrating these virtues and praise them for the doing of them,
but that is not enough.
I believe that ultimately, we have to create the opportunity for them to do something good
and then encourage the thunder out of the behavior.
To a great extent, life at Westview presents, by design, the potential for those opportunities. Let's put a lot of energy into highlighting the virtues that our kids display after they encounter the opportunities that God and we create for them this fall. I think that we'll find that, not only will it change our perceptions of their progress, but it will also change the behavior of the kids in our care for that period of time.
Grace and peace,
Ron
Friday, July 25, 2008
Who are we not trusting?
God knows that Joshua was a patient man. For 38 years he waited for a promise to be fulfilled that, if fairness to an individual were more important than justice to a people, he deserved to receive after his first excursion into Canaan. Yet he waited, patiently serving Moses, patiently caring for the people whose faithlessness had blockaded his blessing, patiently waiting for God's good time.
And when that time came, he faithfully and courageously sought God's will. Until Joshua 7. Without waiting for word from God, Joshua sent spies up to Ai, and then began the attack based on their witness. Disaster follows. Achan is responsible for his own death, and the deaths of his family, but it may be that as a leader Joshua shares in the responsibility of the deaths of the 36 lost in the first attack on Ai. Perhaps if the Lord had been approached in advance, the sin of Achan could have been discovered without such a great cost [It's so easy to question the decisions of a leader after the fact, isn't it?]
"Courage is the capacity to wait until you've learned as much as you can and then take action. You're never sure of the results until you do it. You're still not going to know everything. You have to take gambles and learn more. Queen Elizabeth I wanted to put off most decisions as long as she could. She didn't make a decision until she had to." - Warren Bennis
Patience is an important part of courageous leadership. Sometimes a person's passion for a cause drives them to so relentlessly pursue their objectives that they fail to correctly assess and patiently cope with obstacles blocking that pursuit. Sometimes we just flat out want God to do things on our timetable and not his. As antithetical as passion and patience seem to be on the surface, one without the other either goes nowhere at all or ends in a dramatic crash. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than a man who takes a city" (Prov 16.32).
But just as passion cannot stand long without patience, patience is dependent on one more virtue. Trust, for example.
You cannot have patience without trust. I can wait upon the Lord because I can trust him to keep his promises. I may not understand his timing, I may not understand the path, and I certainly may not understand the obstacles, but still I can be patient because of trust. When I become impatient with God, isn't that a sign that I have stopped trusting in him and have elevated my wisdom and desires above his faithfulness?
We can't be patient with people without trust either. I can be patient with Ann to put dinner on the table, because I trust her to finish a wonderful meal at the right time. I can be patient listening to one of Daniel's lessons because I trust that, just as there is something in it for the fourth grader, there is something in it for me as well. I can be patient with the kids, because I can trust that God is active in their lives as well. And if I can't yet trust a person, I can trust that God will help me deal with them.
So when we find ourselves being impatient, it may be important to understand what is irritating us, but there is something more important. The key is to understand who it is that we are not trusting. When we discover that, we are on the path to peace.
Grace, and peace,
Ron
And when that time came, he faithfully and courageously sought God's will. Until Joshua 7. Without waiting for word from God, Joshua sent spies up to Ai, and then began the attack based on their witness. Disaster follows. Achan is responsible for his own death, and the deaths of his family, but it may be that as a leader Joshua shares in the responsibility of the deaths of the 36 lost in the first attack on Ai. Perhaps if the Lord had been approached in advance, the sin of Achan could have been discovered without such a great cost [It's so easy to question the decisions of a leader after the fact, isn't it?]
"Courage is the capacity to wait until you've learned as much as you can and then take action. You're never sure of the results until you do it. You're still not going to know everything. You have to take gambles and learn more. Queen Elizabeth I wanted to put off most decisions as long as she could. She didn't make a decision until she had to." - Warren Bennis
Patience is an important part of courageous leadership. Sometimes a person's passion for a cause drives them to so relentlessly pursue their objectives that they fail to correctly assess and patiently cope with obstacles blocking that pursuit. Sometimes we just flat out want God to do things on our timetable and not his. As antithetical as passion and patience seem to be on the surface, one without the other either goes nowhere at all or ends in a dramatic crash. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than a man who takes a city" (Prov 16.32).
But just as passion cannot stand long without patience, patience is dependent on one more virtue. Trust, for example.
You cannot have patience without trust. I can wait upon the Lord because I can trust him to keep his promises. I may not understand his timing, I may not understand the path, and I certainly may not understand the obstacles, but still I can be patient because of trust. When I become impatient with God, isn't that a sign that I have stopped trusting in him and have elevated my wisdom and desires above his faithfulness?
We can't be patient with people without trust either. I can be patient with Ann to put dinner on the table, because I trust her to finish a wonderful meal at the right time. I can be patient listening to one of Daniel's lessons because I trust that, just as there is something in it for the fourth grader, there is something in it for me as well. I can be patient with the kids, because I can trust that God is active in their lives as well. And if I can't yet trust a person, I can trust that God will help me deal with them.
So when we find ourselves being impatient, it may be important to understand what is irritating us, but there is something more important. The key is to understand who it is that we are not trusting. When we discover that, we are on the path to peace.
Grace, and peace,
Ron
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