Another prayer from Leaving Ruin:
Mourning is heavy, and I don’t want to carry this load anymore Why be born, why lift the bother of living, it’s just going to hurt mostly, and even the best of moments are stained, and my children have to see it, and learn it, and learn to go on in spite of it?
I know this is darkness talking, that you indeed are light, and joy, and hope, and that in this paradox, there is a mystery called faith being revealed. The sun always rises with or without the bother of living from another shoulder, let me walk there, and as I mourn, comfort me. Let your comfort flow through me like a fount, running over the tired feet of friends, and may we speak comfort when we stand in the hall and talk.
Bless our secret lives, and may we love your ways, and not our own.
In Jesus,
Amen
Thanks be to God that He continues to be Himself no matter what I do or think or feel. He is here when those around me hurt and He hurts alongside us all. Faith, it is a mystery. Perhaps what was to be revealed is as is discussed in Colossians; “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Perhaps this encompasses faith as well. The mystery is not just Christ, but that we live our lives believing in Him, even when it doesn't make logical sense, even without a shred of physical evidence.
Christ is the vessel for healing and hope and joy, which is healing in-and-of-itself.
In the process of writing this, I am praying that God will comfort you and heal you in your mourning.
I pray you will not think your mourning insignificant, but give it room to express itself.
I pray that you will complete your mourning and not have it live forever, but allow the Light of Christ into our hurt.
I pray that you will allow your healing to spill into the lives of others and help provide healing to them as well.
With love and prayers,
Shiann
