Away from home ...

Today’s text is full of great lessons, but we will only focus on a few. The kingdom of God is divided, and it is the time of the prophets and the kings. The prophet of the day is Elisha:

Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man and in high favor with his master, because by him the Lord had given victory to Aram. The man, though a mighty warrior, suffered from leprosy. Now the Arameans on one of their raids had taken a young girl captive from the land of Israel, and she served Naaman's wife. She said to her mistress, "If only my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy."

Naaman is a powerful and successful general. The God of Israel has given a series of great victories to him, even victories over God’s people. Yet Naaman remains unaware of the true source of his power. Whether he believes his power to come from his king, or from his god Rimmon is not clear. What is clear to Yahweh is that Naaman does not know him.

Remember that Naaman is not oppressed, he is the oppressor. Naaman is not weak, but powerful, both in battle and politics. Naaman is not the stranger, but the hero of his king and his people. Yet there comes into his life a problem that makes him an outsider. An issue that marginalizes him socially. Leprosy. This is a leprosy that the physicians, the priests, and even the king of Aram cannot heal.

So Naaman went in and told his lord just what the girl from the land of Israel had said. And the king of Aram said, "Go then, and I will send along a letter to the king of Israel." He went, taking with him ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten sets of garments. He brought the letter to the king of Israel, which read, "When this letter reaches you, know that I have sent to you my servant Naaman, that you may cure him of his leprosy." When the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes and said, "Am I God, to give death or life, that this man sends word to me to cure a man of his leprosy? Just look and see how he is trying to pick a quarrel with me."

We need to see right through the notion that this is a hospitable exchange. The kings of Israel and Aram are not playing by the same rules. There is a real power differential here. On the surface, the request appears to be a reasonable request for hospitality; “We have heard of the healing power within your nation; heal my servant.” Yet there is a thinly veiled threat behind the written message which can be found in the person of the messenger. It reads something like this: “Heal this great and terrible warrior or it will amuse me to turn him loose on you and your people.” Believe me, the king of Israel gets the message. And he is desperate in his search for a way out of his dilemma.

But when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, he sent a message to the king, "Why have you torn your clothes? Let him come to me, that he may learn that there is a prophet in Israel." So Naaman came with his horses and chariots, and halted at the entrance of Elisha's house. Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go, wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored and you shall be clean." But Naaman became angry and went away, saying, "I thought that for me he would surely come out, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy! Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?" He turned and went away in a rage.

Elisha does the hospitable thing: he issues an invitation to Naaman. This invitation relieves the pressure from Israel’s king and promises healing for Naaman. Yet when the general arrives at his tent, the prophet does not follow the normal course of hospitality and invite him in. Since Naaman is a leper, he might have expected that. Yet Elisha does not even come out of his tent to greet Naaman; he sends a messenger. Naaman takes this apparent social faux pas as an insult.

Why does Elisha do this? Is he afraid of Naaman? This doesn’t seem likely in view of the fact that he issued the invitation, and in light of the way that Elisha deals with an entire army around his tent (2 Kings 6). Is Elisha an introvert? Perhaps; there are some indications that he is socially hypersensitive (2 Kings 2:23-25). What seems more likely is the idea that Elisha is setting boundaries here. Elisha is willing to meet with Naaman (it does happen later in this story). But first Elisha must get it out of Naaman’s head that Naaman is in control of this situation. Without seizing power himself, Elisha manages to disarm Naaman of his power so that he can encounter the power of God. Naaman is not the one in power here.

Yet Naaman comes with all sorts of expectations, doesn’t he? Naaman likes it back home, yet he leaves there to come to this strange place because he grudgingly admits that he is not finding healing back home. He has clearly imagined, though, what this healing experience is going to be like, and he is greatly disappointed. Samaria is not what he expected. His host is not what he expected. The rules are not what he expected. He is not being allowed to be in control and rule his life the way that he is used to ruling his life. The fact that his experience is not meeting his expectation inevitably brings on anger. Deep seated anger. Does this story sound familiar to a community that welcomes hurting and outcast young men who are separated from their homes?

How does the story go? Everything is better back home: the rivers; the king, who is like a father to him; you name it. Things are better back in Aram. Yet the reality remains in his face. Literally. Leprosy. However good things appear to be back home, he could not find healing there.

But his servants approached and said to him, "Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, 'Wash, and be clean'?" So he went down and immersed himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; his flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.

Then he returned to the man of God, he and all his company; he came and stood before him and said, "Now I know that there is no God in all the earth except in Israel; please accept a present from your servant." But he said, "As the Lord lives, whom I serve, I will accept nothing!" He urged him to accept, but he refused. Then Naaman said, "If not, please let two mule-loads of earth be given to your servant; for your servant will no longer offer burnt offering or sacrifice to any god except the Lord. But may the Lord pardon your servant on one count: when my master goes into the house of Rimmon to worship there, leaning on my arm, and I bow down in the house of Rimmon, when I do bow down in the house of Rimmon, may the Lord pardon your servant on this one count." He said to him, "Go in peace."

The healing is not so much about the water as it is about obedience. The healing is not so much about physical location as it being in the right location with the God of Israel. Submissive.

Once Naaman is convicted of the power of God, he is converted into a believer in God. Once he steps into a right relationship with God, all of his other relationships start to fall into their proper places. He now respects the man of God enough to be able to stand in his presence and have a conversation free from power plays. Yet at the same time, he maintains a real respect for his master, the king of Aram, so as to be able to serve him faithfully without serving Aram’s false god and Yahweh’s rival, Rimmon. And because these relationships are right, Naaman, the great warrior, can leave in peace.

Is there is a lesson in this for those of us who work with people, both young and old? Yes. As long as people plow through life unaware of the power that makes their life possible, sharing time and space with them can be difficult. But as people come to understand who they are, and who God is, things change. Relationships change. The ability to have hospitable relationships change. So we can work on relationship skills between human beings, and so we ought. But the real breakthrough happens when a human being truly discovers their right relationship with God. This cannot be forced, but relies upon the faithful action of God in the face of the free will of his children. Not everyone is as quick of a student as is Naaman.

May God give us insight into the ways that we use power, boundaries, and hospitality in our relationships today.

Grace and peace,

Ron

Boundary: alongside instead of against

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. I was in the construction business, designing and building swimming pools. I loved the tangible, concrete nature of the business. What you did every day was so visible: so many designs complete, so many blueprints printed, so many yards of concrete poured, so many tons of rock laid, so many gallons of sparkling, clear water rippling in the warm breeze.

But plaster and stone are easier to work with than are human beings. It was as much a work of art to persuade people to trust the idea that I could create another award-winning pool at their home as it was to design the project itself. One of the greatest challenges was to complete projects in time for the first really warm days, when couples had too frequently taken up the best months for construction trying to decide if they even wanted a pool. Consequently, people in the pool business don’t get to go home very much in May.

This particular May, the weathermen in Fort Worth were telling a joke. “What do you call the day after two days of rain?” they quipped. The answer that was supposed to be funny was, “Monday.” Funny, unless you really wanted to work or play on Saturday.

What I really wanted to do this particular Saturday was dig a swimming pool – first of all because it would make my customer happy, and second, because I was paid for my part in the project when the pool was dug. Instead, the construction manager called to inform the customer and me that the rain was so hard that the dig could not happen today, and indeed, it might not dry out enough for the dig to happen for several days. I took off my work boots, and sat down at the drafting table to finish a set of plans for the next slated project.

After about an hour, I received a phone call from my customer. She was disappointed that we hadn’t dug her pool yet. Actually, she was furious. Technically, you could say that she was livid. I was empathetic. She refused to believe that anyone talking as calmly as I was talking could feel what she was feeling. I was persuasive. She was not going to be deterred. I looked out the window, saw that the sky was green, and explained that we were both better off in our nice, dry home and office than standing next to a 15 ton lightning rod, also known as a backhoe. She then proceeded to abuse me with language that made me wonder if she had ever had a career as a drill instructor.

I swallowed my real urge to sear the ears from her head with a blast of sarcasm, and instead said, as calmly as I knew how: “I am a professional who will do his best to do the best of work for you; I am a friend who will do his best to listen to you, but I am not going to let you talk to me this way anymore.” I then hung up the phone without waiting for a response.

I stopped working on my vellums and walked around the office. I was contemplating ways that I could explain this to my boss, and imagining what it might be like to look for another job.

Sure enough, five minutes later the phone rang again. It was my customer. “Ron,” she started, “did my evil twin sister just call you?” Thinking fast, I replied, “You know, I wondered who that was. Her voice sounded just like yours, but I knew from what she said that it couldn’t have been you.” She laughed and said, “She can be such a snot sometimes.” We went on to work on our real issues. We built a beautiful pool for her, and her family enjoyed it for many summers.

The word for today is boundary. A wise person once said, “All healthy relationships have good boundaries.” This is a fundamental truth.

In this relationship, I let my friend know, in a brief moment of clarity, that she had crossed one of my boundaries. Being a fundamentally wise person, she caught herself, apologized in her own inimitable way, and we were able to restore our relationship so as to finish the job that both of us wanted finished.

What boundaries do we need to watch today? Do we need to be sensitive to the sudden change in a friend’s demeanor as a signal that we have unintentionally crossed the line? Or, do we need to not be so subtle, and come straight out and tell someone when they have crossed the line that hurts our feelings or limits our effectiveness? It is important to pay close attention, and to communicate clearly, lest we be misunderstood.

When Jesus defines boundaries he does so in a fundamental way. He uses words that we have quoted so often that we lose sight of what they really mean. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). In some ways, these words of Jesus are intuitively obvious. On the other hand, I don’t think that they are. Just because it doesn’t make me mad when a proofreader scratches out my words on a piece of paper and writes in their own, I ought not believe that I can do this to anyone else without taking into account how they feel about this apparent verbal sabotage. It might make them furious.

This is just one example. We all know something that aggravates someone we love that doesn’t bother us at all. For some children, raising your voice to them is the same as a physical assault. For some adults, raising your voice to them is the only way to really get their attention. If we really love as Jesus wants us to love, we have to watch out for those boundaries, and not make excuses for our intrusions across them. We should avoid the boundaries and ask for forgiveness when we unintentionally cross them.

May God help us to watch our boundaries in a loving way today.

Blessings,

Ron